


Fade Into Me

by clover71, radcliffe_bass



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-20
Updated: 2013-04-21
Packaged: 2017-12-09 00:59:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 38,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/768137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clover71/pseuds/clover71, https://archiveofourown.org/users/radcliffe_bass/pseuds/radcliffe_bass
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Naruto Uzumaki left Konoha, he thought it was for good but then fate led him back to the place where he had his heart broken only to find out that Sasuke Uchiha, the man who shattered his heart, had been suffering from a life-threatening illness and Naruto had to choose between keeping his distance or walking back into Sasuke's life. [AU]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> **Clover71's Notes:**  
>  \- The original plot for this story was prepared for another fandom (Secret Circle) and a different BigBang challenge (hurt/comfort), which did not push through. Then I saw the ad for Angst Bigbang and thought that the plot could work for the angst category. My co-author, radcliffe_bass, and I had decided to use a different fandom though since we lost interest with The Secret Circle. So I had to do a lot of revisions on the plot outline to fit the Naruto fandom (regardless if it's AU, we had to change the settings too), and thus, this fic was borne.
> 
> \- I, for one thing, know nothing about chemotherapy. My knowledge is limited only on the information I've gathered from the Internet and from watching movies/ TV movies that involve this procedure. Hence, anything stated in this story isn't based on medical facts. Everything about Sasuke's illness and the treatment involved are strictly fictional.
> 
> \- This fan fiction is loosely based on the movie ['Dying Young,'](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dying_Young) loosely because the concept was highly inspired by the movie but we took the liberty to NOT have an open ending like the movie did. So beware, the last chapter is when the 'fairy tale' syndrome hits.
> 
> \- The title of this story was borrowed (or more like stolen, I apologize) from the song ['Fade Into Me' by David Cook.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jlPaIYlVeT4) Most scenes here (especially the ones I wrote) were written under that song's inspiration.
> 
> \- I have never written with anyone before and creating this monster of a fic (NOT! I'm just exaggerating) with my good friend, radcliffe_bass, was super fun. We decided to split POVs so I wrote Naruto's, which I think is totally out-of-character, but hey, this is AU and the guy's all grown-up in this story and he can be angsty in canon, right? (Hidden Message: I am being defensive)  
> \o/  
> o//  
> \\\o  
>  **Radcliffe_bass' Notes**
> 
> \- This fic was all thanks to clover71. It was her idea for the hurt/comfort bigbang. We were supposed to use another fandom for this (Secret Circle) but it didn't push through, which was a good thing since we were able to use the plot for this big bang. I'm not a medical student nor have I been subject to chemotherapy. Any reference to medical stuff were all taken from internet research and were most probably exaggerated or vague for the purpose of fiction writing.
> 
> \- Although I'm a Naruto/Sasuke fan, I haven't written any fic for them. I'm more of a reader than a writer for this fandom. This is also my first time writing with another author. It was a fun experience even if we both had to pull weekend all-nighters so that we could finish the fic. I'm actually glad that this is set in an Alternate Universe as I'm not as updated as I used to with what's happening in canon. Please forgive me if the characters ended up more OOC than usual.
> 
> \- Angst writing is my Waterloo. I'm more comfortable writing fluff or funny scenes. I apologize if it's not as angsty as it should be. I think I spent more time angsting how I will write angst while this fic was being written. 
> 
> \- Lastly, thanks to clover71 for encouraging me and putting up with me while writing this fic. I know I'm not an easy co-author because I have the bad habit of procrastinating and cramming, so thank you so much and so so sorry if I made your head hurt! *hugs* Happy reading everyone!  
> .
> 
> ============
> 
> .  
>  **Disclaimer:**  
>  This fan fiction is written for non-profitable purpose and author does not claim copyright for the characters and settings used. Naruto and its characters are created and owned by Masashi Kishimoto.  
> .  
> .
> 
> * * *

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The music switched just as Naruto reached the last mile stretch leading to his final destination. A beguiling voice Naruto hadn't heard for years filled the car's interior, singing about fragments of pain and endless tomorrow and light of gold.

It was _fucking_ weird, he thought, that out of all the songs in his playlist, _this_ started playing like some unconscious reminder that he was on his way to the place he went through all shit to avoid for the past three years, back to the place where he had his heart broken. The song – the voice—pierced right through his heart. This was the song Sasuke recorded and gave to Naruto when they celebrated their fifth year anniversary, months before Sasuke broke up with him. How ironic could this day get?

Going back to his hometown felt like turning back the pages of his history, right at the dog-eared sheets where his past had been written. All this time, he had steered clear away from his home town but now fate decided to give him shit and he had no choice but to return to his birthplace. His chest felt heavier the moment he drove past the sign that said: _Welcome to Konoha._

_Great. Welcome back to my fucked-up life,_ Naruto thought with an eighty-five percent urge of turning his car around to go somewhere else. He wondered if Konoha would ever feel like home again. Somehow it had to. Naruto had no other choice, not right now. If he hadn't lost his job, he probably would have stayed in Kirigakure. But then again, after what Utakata did, he probably wouldn't be able to live there either. Moral lesson learned: he shouldn't have had a relationship with his editor.

The sight of the tall cliff that surrounded the town in the distance and the tall Mahogany trees that lined the sides of the road gave him a sense of familiarity he couldn't deny. Maybe it was time to face the ghost of his past. Maybe this was where he belonged. At least for the moment. If wounds would be reopened, then Naruto would have to deal with it. Besides, he was in enough _fucking_ pain as it was. What could be worse?

It was almost noon so Naruto figured his dad might be at the restaurant. The place was usually packed at this time of the day. 

Naruto wasn't ready to face his dad yet, or anyone else for that matter, so he drove straight home. He could use a few more hours of solitude.

Nothing much had changed, Naruto noticed. Their house looked the same although the paint on the fence visible to the naked eye was close to peeling off. The lawn appeared as if it hadn't been mowed for days. He climbed up the porch, lifted the large blue rug and was relieved that his dad hadn't forgotten to leave the spare key underneath. 

His bedroom was still the way he had left it – untouched, just like his dad had promised – except for the bed sheets and pillow cases that were obviously fresh. Naruto dumped all his things in one corner before dusting off the bed so he could lie down for a while. It had been a long drive and his legs were starting to feel pins and needles, his muscles begging for some rest. His eyes slid close and he didn't put up a fight when his consciousness started to drift away.

 

*

 

Naruto was in the middle of pouring hot water over a bowl of instant ramen when his dad came into the kitchen with a "Hey, you're home," and gave Naruto a quick, awkward hug.

"Don't tell me you closed up early today," Naruto said, stealing a glance at the clock. It was just past six.

"No, I left Kakashi in charge. Figured you'll be here. I just couldn’t wait to see you." Minato yanked the fridge door open, grabbed two cans of beer and tossed one to Naruto, the smile that sat on his lips never faltered. "How was the drive?"

"Long." Naruto was in no mood to discuss about his uneventful trip so he took the bowl and brought it over to the table with his dad hovering right behind him. "How's business?" Not that Naruto cared, but he needed to keep the spotlight off of him for a while and that seemed to do the trick because his dad launched into a lengthy story about economic crisis and taxes and all the shit Naruto could care less about. He pretended to listen, nodding every now and then but his mind drifted back to Kiri, to Utakata and that blonde bimbo he decided to sneak into their apartment while Naruto was at work.

"You're not listening," Minato said after a while, effectively yanking Naruto out of his morbid rumination. His dad didn't seem upset or offended. But Naruto hated seeing that line of concern forming on his dad's forehead.

"Sorry," Naruto muttered although he's anything but. "I just have a lot of things in my mind."

Minato eyed him warily and, in a conventional father-to-son fashion, asked, "Wanna talk about it?" 

"No." Naruto scoffed and shook his head, the words _no, no, no_ spinning in his mind. There was no way he was going to discuss his screwed-up love life – or fucked-up life, for that matter – with his father. He had heard enough _I-told-you-so'_ s from his friends in Kiri and he didn't need to hear more.

"Listen," Naruto started before his dad could make a peep, "I was thinking… maybe I'll stick around for a while. Maybe get a job or something." 

Minato managed to plunge his chopsticks and steal a piece of fishcake from Naruto's bowl. "I could use your help at the café." 

_Anything. Just anything._ Then a sudden thought occurred to Naruto. "Does Sakura still work there?" He hadn't seen his friend for… well, a little more than a year. She came out to visit him in Water Country where— _oh Kami forbid,_ —she met Utakata and she didn't like him one bit. She would either be thrilled to hear that Naruto had left Utakata or give Naruto an earful for sticking with Utakata in the first place.

"She still does, actually. Part time, like always." The eagerness reflected on Minato's face was enough to melt Naruto's qualms about coming back to Konoha. "She's actually glad to hear you're in town. She was actually expecting you to drop by at the restaurant earlier but I told her you probably needed to rest. I have a feeling she might decide to come here instead if you don't show up at the café soon." 

"Maybe I'll go see her tomorrow," Naruto said with honest purpose to do just that despite the fact that the voice inside his head was babbling _oh no, oh no, oh no, she's going to burn me at the stake._

 

*

 

Showing up at The Yondaime Kafe the next day was a colossal mistake. The moment Naruto had set foot inside, Sakura Haruno was all over him – literally and figuratively. She hurled herself in Naruto's arms then her hands gripped Naruto's shoulders, fingers clutching the fabric of Naruto's jacket while demanding for the reason why Naruto hauled his ass back to this bumfuck town. She knew – knew that Naruto had no intentions whatsoever of returning to Konoha when he left three years ago.

"I can't talk about it right now, Sakura," was all Naruto offered then he tried to block Sakura's voice by making a mental catalogue of the restaurant-slash-café-slash-bar, noticing that – like everything else he'd seen so far – not much had changed.

Naruto thought it was peculiar that Sakura let him off the hook so easily. Maybe it was because she was a bit preoccupied attending to some customers. With the lack of things to do, Naruto slipped into the bar and started to arrange the glasses someone had left behind the counter. 

"So the rumors are true. You're back," a familiar voice said in a rather lackadaisical manner.

"Kakashi! I see you're still stuck working for my dad. I thought you'd be off somewhere doing bookkeeping for some five-star restaurant or something." Naruto kept a playful lilt in his tone when he said, "Or did you finally convince Iruka to marry your sorry ass?"

"I see you haven't changed. You still have quite a mouth I see." Kakashi studied him for a moment with a serious expression before a smile broke out from lips. He lifted his arms, said, "Come here, you brat!" and enveloped Naruto in a tight hug.

Kakashi had been like a second father to him, someone who made sure he never strayed as a teen when his dad was busy being a town mayor and all. If he were to make a list of people in Konoha that he'd missed, Kakashi would surely be among the top. 

"So where's Iruka? Still working in the kitchen and making those glorious puddings I love?"

The glow that crossed Kakashi's face at the mention of his lover was hard to miss. "Of course. In fact he made one earlier when he heard you're coming over."

"Awesome!" Naruto thought maybe coming back wasn't such a bad idea after all if he was going to be spoiled like this. They made small talk until Kakashi had to excuse himself when his cell phone rang. 

It was some time later that Sakura stomped over to him and said, "It's that good-for-nothing boyfriend of yours, isn't it? He did something, didn't he?" She leaned with her arms folded over the marble counter top giving Naruto the look that hammered through Naruto's thick wall of resistance. 

Naruto's shoulders dropped and he mumbled, "Utakata and I broke up," through gritted teeth, not meeting Sakura's gaze, afraid he might see something judgmental. But then Sakura reached out and squeezed his arm like she was offering him comfort.

"Hey, it's his loss," she said, casting Naruto a soft look filled with compassion but was quick to mask it with apathy before spinning around to leave Naruto on his own. Naruto stared at her retreating form, baffled that there were no _I-told-you-so's_ and even more so, she didn't even demand for details. 

Maybe Sakura could still read him like an open book, could see that he needed space and that was exactly what she was giving him. She threw a reassuring smile from across the room then her eyes flew toward the main entrance at the melodic tinkle of the door chimes. Naruto followed her gaze and was surprised to see Itachi Uchiha drift in with a haughty gait, his long, shiny soot black hair was tied loosely at the nape, few strands falling exquisitely at the side of his face.

"Naruto Uzumaki," rolled out of Itachi's mouth slowly, every syllable punctuated with disbelief like it was a divine miracle to see Naruto in the flesh. 

"Itachi!" Naruto hollered, curious what Itachi was doing in town since last he heard, Itachi had moved to Iwagakure to manage one of the hotels his father owned. "What brings you to Konoha?"

Itachi slid onto a stool in a graceless manner, a mask of weariness veiled over his face. One look at him would be enough to catch the hint that he hadn't had any proper sleep for days. "Shouldn't I be asking you that? I thought you're supposed to be some hotshot lifestyle columnist in Kirigakure who had no time to spare to come to Konoha for a visit, at least." He ordered a cup of espresso, which made Naruto snort and somehow felt the need to tease.

"You sure you don't want anything stronger?" But Naruto was already grabbing the pot so he could brew a fresh cup for Itachi. 

"Dude. It's fucking ten in the morning," Itachi said monotonously and he was scrubbing his face when Naruto twisted his head enough to peer over his shoulder.

Naruto turned on the coffee maker and the gentle hum of the machine trailed after him when he strode back to Itachi. "You look like hell. Been partying all night?"

Itachi huffed. "I wish. I was up all night watching Sasuke blow chunks all over the floor." 

Naruto's heart seized not just because he heard his ex-boyfriend's name, but Itachi's words clearly implied that his brother, Sasuke, was also in Konoha and that was something Naruto wasn't prepared for. Wasn't Sasuke supposed to be in Oto or Suna or somewhere not in Fire Country minding his father's business? Naruto's mind was flowing off to different directions that Sakura's "So how's Sasuke?" barely registered in his ears. 

It was the soft ding from the coffee machine that jolted Naruto out of his jumbled cogitation. He almost dropped the pot though when he heard Itachi say, "Not good. He had another session yesterday. That's why he was sick all night."

"Poor Sasuke." Sakura had her mouth set on a pout while staring off into space for a full minute before her eyes skipped back to Itachi and asked, "Is he getting any better though?"

"I don't know." Itachi released a prolonged breath, murmured his thanks when Naruto slid the cup of coffee in front of him, and _really,_ it was painfully obvious that he was avoiding Naruto's gaze. "We're still waiting for the results of his…" Itachi said, the dramatic pause seemed to have been intended for Naruto and he masked it by lifting the cup to his lips, winced when he took a sip then cleared his throat before adding, "…his tests."

Naruto had a thousand questions burning through his mind but he couldn't seem to form the right words. He was two seconds away from asking what _the fuck_ was going on when Itachi blurted, "I better go," and took another sip of his coffee. And another. And another. Naruto wondered if Itachi's tongue hadn't gotten burned since he was fairly certain the coffee was hot to the extreme level. "Dad's asked me to run some errands this morning. Doesn't give a shit that I haven't had enough sleep yet."

Itachi was off his seat in a fraction of a minute, brought his hand up to his forehead in a salute with "I'll see you around, dude. See ya, Sakura," and tossed a five dollar bill on the counter. "Keep the change."

As soon as Itachi was out the door, Naruto reached over the counter to grab the sleeve of Sakura's shirt so she wouldn't be able to escape. "Okay, what was that all about? What the hell is wrong with Sasuke? What did Itachi mean about sessions and tests and whatever shit you both were discussing?" he asked in a single breath.

"Which one should I answer first?" It was easy to read Sakura, too easy that Naruto could tell she was struggling to school her features. But regardless of how determined she was to hide whatever secret she shared with Itachi, Naruto was twice as determined to find out. 

Naruto held her gaze thinking, _don't start with me,_ and the psychological bullshit seemed to do the job because she sighed in a way she would when she was about to relent, shoulders sagging and her pupils seemed to shrink when she looked straight into Naruto's eyes. "Naruto… Sasuke has leukemia. He's been battling the disease for almost three years now."

 

*+*

 

The sound of the door opening made Sasuke look up from the computer screen he'd been staring at for the past two hours. He was in his usual place in the main house's study and currently testing the website he designed for a client. He shifted his attention back to his work when he saw that it was just Itachi.

"Aren't you supposed to be resting?" Itachi asked as he sat on the chair opposite Sasuke.

"I'm bored and this is due next week."

"It's not that you badly need the money," Itachi remarked, picking up the framed photograph on the coffee table in front of them. It was a picture of their family on Sasuke's first day in grade school.

Sasuke saved his work before closing his laptop. Itachi knew how Sasuke wanted to be left alone when he was working. They usually left each other to their own devices. Whatever Itachi wanted to say must have been important enough for him to interrupt Sasuke's work. "So, what brings you here?"

Itachi placed the photo back on the table before answering. "I saw Naruto at Yondaime's earlier. Did you know that he's back?"

"I see," Sasuke opened his laptop once more, feigning disinterest. It had been years since he last saw his ex-boyfriend and Sasuke wondered if Naruto still thought of him. Not that it mattered, because he had no plans whatsoever on visiting Naruto at all. And Naruto would probably walk on hot coals first before he would even think of playing catch up with Sasuke.

 

*

 

Sasuke was not someone who was easily surprised, being diagnosed with leukemia three years ago did that to a person. However, that little tidbit that his brother Itachi shared earlier definitely surprised him. It wasn't that he thought that it was not possible. It was more like last he heard was Naruto was having the time of his life in Kirigakure – great job, promising career and a stable relationship. 

So, no one could blame him if he found the idea of Naruto eagerly returning to boring, backwoods Konoha absurd.

He was honestly curious as to why Naruto suddenly decided to visit. Especially since the last time Naruto was here – no – he didn't want to dwell on that. The past should remain that way, the past. Unfortunately, his mind decided to betray him and he was flooded with memories he tried so hard to forget. 

Well, no one could really blame him. He and Naruto were together for five years after all.

Sasuke didn't like Naruto at first, because Sasuke had always been a well-mannered child. And Naruto was one of those typical optimistic and loud-mouthed children that Sasuke found irritating. Naruto was always hyper active and most often than not was involved in school mischief and playground arguments.

Sasuke would have loved it if Naruto left him on his own. Unfortunately, Naruto selfishly declared that Sasuke and him as best friends because according to Naruto, their parents were best friends as well. So it was inevitable that they should be best buddies as well. 

Naruto followed him around all throughout the younger days. And as annoying as Naruto was, Sasuke tolerated his presence. Because Naruto was one of the few people who saw Sasuke as Sasuke. Not Itachi's younger brother or Fugaku Uchiha's youngest son.

Naruto was always there to support Sasuke even if Sasuke didn't need his help. When Sasuke and his father had a falling out because Sasuke admitted that he didn't like girls as much as a guy his age should – and that the prospect of having a male lover more appealing - Naruto was the first person who comforted him. 

And that was when Sasuke realized and finally admitted to himself that he had learned to love the idiot who called himself Naruto like family.

Sasuke couldn't even recall when he first realized he was in love with Naruto, maybe it was when he mistook him for dating Sakura and Sasuke's perverse reaction was to avoid Naruto. For a week. But then Naruto was Naruto and he did not let the week end without confronting Sasuke, cornering him like a trapped animal. Sasuke's only defense back then was to confess to Naruto, to blurt out how he felt. To his surprise, the same sentiments spilled out of Naruto's mouth. Sasuke couldn't believe it then; he thought he was dreaming when he heard Naruto say that he felt the same way. But then Naruto kissed him and they were together since then.

They were happy, and even though they chose different universities after high school, their relationship managed to survive. Until the day that Sasuke was diagnosed with leukemia and he had no choice but to break up with Naruto. He didn't want Naruto to stay with him out of pity. He loved Naruto so much and he didn't want him to suffer along with him. 

Sasuke knew that he took the coward's way out, but if it meant that Naruto would be happy in the end. Then he would gladly be a coward.

He knew that Naruto never forgave him for the break up. It would not do him any good to think of the past anymore. It was not like Naruto would magically fall into his arms if he found out the real reason why Sasuke broke up with him. 

The past should remain in the past and Sasuke should not hope for miracles. For miracles do not happen, not to him anyway.

 

*

 

The next day saw Sasuke having a normal breakfast with his father and Itachi – as normal as it could get with all three Uchiha men sharing the same table. Itachi and Fugaku's conversation revolved around their business so Sasuke didn't pay attention. 

He'd woken up with a minor headache and he couldn't be bothered with nonsensical things. It wasn't until he heard his father mention his name that he decided to listen in on the conversation.

"I thought Shizune was onboard with the idea? Sasuke needs someone to take care of him round the clock now that both of us will be working outside Konoha for an indefinite amount of time," Fugaku said.

"There were a few nurses who left the hospital and Shizune needs to take on extra shifts to compensate for the lack of staff. She did say that she'll send me a list of people she can recommend to take over," Itachi explained and looked at Sasuke meaningfully. "I just hope whoever we hire could stay longer than two days."

"I trust that Sasuke will behave since he needs help. Right, Sasuke?" Fugaku asked.

"I don't need a baby sitter," Sasuke replied.

"We're hiring a caregiver not a baby sitter," Fugaku corrected and took a sip of his coffee. "But with the way you're acting I have half a mind to find one for you."

"It's not as if you'd care if I drop dead, so why don't you leave me the fuck alone," Sasuke argued.

"Of course I'd care, you're my son."

"Cut the crap, you're just doing this so you won't look bad."

"Can't we have a quiet, normal and argument-free breakfast just for once," Itachi said before either Sasuke or his father spoke again. "It's seldom that we're complete and I'd like to have a peaceful meal with my family while I still can."

Fugaku nodded then his eyes fell on the newspaper beside him, Sasuke knew it was because his father didn't want to make Itachi upset. Had it been just the two of them, the argument would go on for hours. Itachi was probably looking at him, waiting for him to accept the temporary truce. But Sasuke had enough for the day, being around his father made his headache worse, so he stood up and left.  
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 _All I feel now is the weight of the day_  
 _I need you with me to push it away_  
 _When we disappear into each other_  
 _Our colors appear and bleed into one_  
 _\-- Fade Into Me, David Cook_  
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* * *

_Added notes:_ The song Naruto was supposed to be listening to while driving to Konoha was [Kogane No Hikari (Light of Gold)](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7e4F65x7l0) which was sung by Noriaki Sugiyama, the voice actor behind Sasuke.  
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	2. Chapter 2

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Naruto lifted his head when he heard the door open. His vision was still clouded with Kanji and numbers from the inventory list he'd been working on for the past two hours ( _damn that Kakashi for bailing out and leaving this to him to work on_ ) but he could see Sakura skipping down the stairs, her pink hair bouncing on her shoulders. 

"So when are you gonna see Sasuke?" she asked casually and Naruto stared at her for a moment, waiting for her to blurt out that she was only kidding but she just stood there like she was waiting for New Year or something. 

"I don't know, Sakura. I…." If Naruto were to be honest though, he'd been mulling over the same idea, was close to taking it into consideration but then the incident from one particular summer invaded his mind so he quickly dismissed the thought.

Sakura settled on the cushioned chair across Naruto and tucked her left foot under her right thigh, her green eyes boring into him like she was about to pick his brain. "What happened between you two, anyway? I mean, I know you broke up, but you never told me the reason why."

"You never asked." Naruto pored over the record book sitting on his lap, trying to make sense of the numbers now that he had lost complete concentration because images of Sasuke _freaking_ Uchiha had crept into his head. 

"I did but you never wanted to talk about it." The touch of accusation in Sakura's tone caused Naruto to snap his head up, ready to rationalize, only to see the muted look of curiosity lingering on the surface of her eyes. "I thought I'd give you space back then," she said. "But time passed and I guess I never really thought about asking you again. Until now."

"It wasn't really that I didn't want to talk about it. I just… well, I never knew what to say." Naruto replayed the scenario that took place three years ago in his head. "All this time, I thought the reason why Sasuke broke up with me was because we were studying on the opposite sides of the world. I was in Kiri and he chose to study in Otogakure. He never really told me why and I didn't force him to explain."

"Why didn't you ask him?" 

Why didn’t he? "I was just… I don't know, Sakura. Maybe I was too distraught and lost when he told me we needed a break." Naruto let his head fall on the backrest, his head spinning. "I guess I was too focused on trying to figure out if it was Sasuke's polite way of telling me he didn't love me anymore. When it all finally sunk in, Sasuke had already left."

The skin between Sakura's eyebrows creased. "Didn't you try to talk to him?"

"I wanted to." Naruto gave up on the idea of getting some work done for his dad so he tossed the book he'd been holding on the table next to the couch. "But I often imagined that Sasuke had probably moved on to someone else. It's stupid, I know."

"It is." Sakura leaned forward, elbows resting on her knees. "Naruto. That was three years ago, almost the same time when Sasuke found out he was sick."

Sakura's words drilled into Naruto's head and now Naruto wondered if that had anything to do with why Sasuke gave up on their relationship. Judging by the way Sakura's lips thinned and her eyebrows met at the center of her forehead, it was safe to presume that the same thoughts were coursing through her mind. 

Before silence could drape over them, Naruto asked, "What do you know about Sasuke's condition?" Curiosity had been poking at his hindbrain since he learned that Sasuke had leukemia. He had no medical background but he knew the basics, knew that some die from the disease but some could actually survive. He wasn't religious, more agnostic than anyone he knew, but he prayed Sasuke was among the latter.

"Not much." Sakura sighed audibly, her gaze sliding down to the floor. "Itachi says he'd been responding well to the treatment until he had a respiratory tract infection late last year. Sasuke had to stop getting chemo for a while." She lifted her eyes back to Naruto. "I uh… I don't really know much, I'm sorry. His medical records are confidential and even if I have access, I won't be able to tell you without his permission." Then her face lit up the way it always did whenever a spontaneous idea breezed through her ever-so-scheming mind. "Why don't you go see Sasuke and find out for yourself?"

Naruto knew he had to face Sasuke someday. Knowing that Sasuke was sick might not change things between them but then again, Naruto wouldn't know what their fate would be if he continued to hide underneath his thick security blanket. "Maybe I will," he said.

A small smile graced Sakura's lips. "Good." It sounded more like _'good luck'._

An uncomfortable feeling fluttered inside Naruto, like a hundred butterflies had just broken out of their cocoons and went straight into his belly. He was going to see Sasuke. The voices that normally bounced around his head at a time like this wasn't there to try and talk him out of it.

 

*

 

There were only a few tables occupied at the Yondaime Kafe and enough servers to cover them, what with his old friends from high school, Sai and Kiba, working that day. Naruto thought it was a perfect time to ask his dad if he could get the rest of the afternoon off. Naruto figured a white lie would help avoid a lengthy discussion so he said, "I'm just going to see an old friend," when his dad asked what his plans were. 

Minato eyed him speculatively, his sharp stare piercing through the layers of Naruto's prevarication. Then his expression softened when he asked, "Are you going to see Sasuke?" 

_So much for a white lie._ A long, discomfited sigh escaped Naruto. "I just thought I should see how he's doing. I haven't seen him in three years," was the adequate reason he could come up with. 

Minato's face was framed with utter concern. "Naruto, there's something you should know." His blue eyes swept around the restaurant as if checking if anyone was within earshot. His voice grew soft, enough for only Naruto to hear. "Sasuke isn't the same man as he was. He'd grown bitter… well, more bitter over the years and now, I hear he's filled with so much resentment. I tried to see him once but he sent me away. Fugaku often complains that Sasuke isn't as pleasant to be around with like he used to."

The changes in Sasuke's personality were something Naruto anticipated. As if he wasn't already a bastard to begin with. But…. Optimistic as he was, he thought that maybe… perhaps it wasn't as bad as his dad made it sound like. And… Wait. His dad knew about Sasuke's condition? "Why didn't you tell me you knew Sasuke was sick?"

Minato tore his eyes away from Naruto's, focusing on the glasses that he was arranging meticulously on the shelf. "Fugaku asked me not to. He said it was Sasuke's wish," he explained, his back still on Naruto. "I'm sorry but I was in no position to tell you, Son." 

Naruto's hand curled into fist on the counter, pressing hard on the surface as if he was trying to leave a dent on the spot. He fought the urge to grab something and throw it across the room. "Did you have any idea how much I suffered emotionally after Sasuke broke up with me?" he said, not caring if he was causing a scene. "Three years, Dad. Three years I wondered what could possibly have been the reason why Sasuke suddenly decided we were better off apart. And you knew."

"I didn't know that had anything to do with why your relationship ended, Naruto." Minato planted his hand firmly on Naruto's shoulder. "And believe me I wanted to let you know one way or another. I begged you to come home countless times hoping that you would find out for yourself. But then you met Utakata and…" Minato drew his hand back, his gaze falling on the floor. "I don't know. Maybe I thought you've moved on and learning about Sasuke's condition might complicate things."

Naruto felt a stab of guilt. His dad was right. Naruto was too adamant to stay away from Konoha, to erase anything that had to do with this town. "Sorry I took it out on you, Dad." 

"No, Son. You have every right to be mad." Minato raised his hand to beckon Sakura over then asked her to take over the bar for a while. He led Naruto to the his office and didn't bother beating around the bush. "Naruto, I just want to make sure you know what you're getting yourself into."

"What do you mean?" Naruto couldn't help but notice the uneasiness in his dad's posture.

"Sasuke may or may not welcome you, but if he does, how can you be certain you won't end up falling in love with him again?" Minato ran a hand over his face. "Naruto, Sasuke's chances of defeating the disease is slim. If in case he loses the battle, are you certain you'll have enough strength to deal with the pain?"

Naruto hadn't really looked that far into the future. He wasn't even sure he would be able to see Sasuke, let alone talk to him. But his dad had a point. "I don't know, dad. All I know right now is I have to see him."

"I just don't want to see you go through the same phase I did after your mom died." Minato plunked down on the couch, his eyes glazed and his face seemed to be masked with dark memories. 

Naruto sunk beside his dad, resting his hand on his dad's shoulder. "I can't promise I'll be fine, Dad. But if ever I fall, you'll be there to catch me, won't you?"

Minato lifted his eyes to Naruto's and he seemed to force a smile on his lips. "Of course."

 

*+*

 

Sasuke flipped the page of the book he was reading. Maybe if he stared at the page long enough, the Kanji would make sense and he'd be able to drown out the annoying voices coming from his father's study. He couldn't understand why Itachi insisted on having him around while they did their stupid interviews when his brother knew all too well that he didn't give a damn who they hired. It wasn't like these 'baby sitters' would last more than a few days with him. 

After going through two women who looked more like wrestlers than nurses or caregivers or whatever shit Itachi called them, Sasuke thought he had heard enough and decided to bury himself in the corner of the library. Unfortunately for him, it was just right next to the study.

A light knock distracted him from his thoughts and his eyes widened when he saw Naruto standing at the doorway. Sasuke left the couch as discreetly as he could and hid within the shadows of the nearest bookshelf, glad that he was in a spot not easily seen from the door.

"Sasuke?" He heard Naruto call out softly, like the other man wasn't sure if his presence would be welcomed. Sasuke kept silent and watched his ex-boyfriend hesitantly enter the room. He melted further into the dim corner, hoping that the lack of light would keep him obscured from Naruto.

 _He still looks good. The three years had been kind to him, I see,_ Sasuke thought bitterly. Naruto had always been good looking, one of the reasons why people flocked to him, and it looked like Naruto became more attractive over the years. 

Sasuke could not help but wonder how it would feel like to have that gorgeous man in his arms again. He ran his hand over his hair in frustration and cursed when he felt more skin than hair. Naruto loved playing with his hair, used to tease how Sasuke's hair seemed to defy gravity. "How do you keep it sticking up behind your head?" he used to ask. Sasuke pondered on how Naruto would react to see that hair gone. Would Naruto still find him attractive if he saw how Sasuke looked right now?

 _Shit, shit, shit._ Sasuke silently berated himself when Naruto turned his attention towards his hiding place. "Stop!" Sasuke yelled in panic when he saw Naruto took a step towards his direction.

"Sasuke, don't hide from me please. I, I just want to talk," Naruto said.

"There's nothing to talk about. And I'm not hiding, so leave me alone." _I just don't want you to see me like this._

"Why didn't you tell me?" Naruto asked, like he didn't hear a word Sasuke said. Sasuke forgot that Naruto could be pretty stubborn when he wanted to. "You know I'd stay. I would understand, why'd you have to be a coward and deal with it all by yourself?"

"I don't need your pity."

"I loved you, I would never pity you. I would have skipped school if you asked me…"

"But I didn't ask you!" Sasuke shouted. "I don't want you to throw your future for me. I'm not your fucking responsibility, Naruto! I don't want you to stay with me because you think you should. I wanted you... to be happy. With someone who doesn't look like a corpse waiting to drop dead anytime. You deserve better."

Sasuke heard Naruto draw in a deep breath, the way Naruto always did when Naruto was trying to suppress his emotions or... or when Naruto was about to cry. And Kami, he hated it when Naruto cried, more so that the reason for the tears was him.

"But I didn't want better. Can't you understand that? I loved you, we were together for five years. We're best friends. I would give up my dreams, for you." Naruto's voice broke at the end and Sasuke knew he'd lost his resolve if they continued the conversation. 

Sasuke let out a bitter laugh. "You wouldn't say that if you see me now. No, don't argue. I'm tired, just, leave please."

An unnerving silence followed before Naruto spoke once more. "Okay. I'll leave. For now. But I'll be back." 

 

*

 

"I ran into Naruto on the way here," Itachi said after he entered the room. "He looked like he was about to cry."

Sasuke ignored Itachi, he knew Itachi wanted to pry, but he was not in the mood to answer Itachi's questions, especially when the pain from the conversation earlier was still fresh. Itachi was a good brother, but he'd always disagreed with Sasuke's actions with regards to Naruto. He liked Naruto and had he had his way, Itachi would want Naruto to be his brother-in-law or something like that.

Itachi seemed to have taken the hint and Sasuke was grateful for the silence. Having someone point out his mistakes while he wanted to wallow in self-pity was never a good thing. And Itachi, while being Sasuke's best supporter also happened to be Sasuke's number one devil's advocate.

"Do you think he got home safely?" Sasuke asked. 

"Naruto's never reckless," Itachi replied, watching Sasuke with that look on his face that said 'I'm analyzing the situation'. Sasuke had a feeling that he would not like what Itachi would say. 

"You still love Naruto, don't you?" Itachi asked. He made his way towards the couch where Sasuke sat and plopped down beside him.

Sasuke closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Somehow, he knew Itachi would ask that. Sometimes, his brother knew him better than he knew himself. There really wasn't any point trying to deny it so he murmured, "Yeah."

"Then why do you keep on pushing him away?"

"In all honesty, I don't know anymore. The old reasons I gave seemed lame and… selfish."

"Because you didn't want to get hurt if he leaves you?" Itachi asked. 

Itachi didn't seem to be keen on getting an answer because he continued, "But that's part of loving someone right? It's part of the package, it's even in the vows, in sickness and in health and all that romantic crap. When you love, you open yourself to pain. Wouldn't it be better if you have someone to share that pain with? It seemed to me that you just decided to carry everything by yourself. You didn't give Naruto a choice."

"He's selfless; he'll probably stay with me out of pity."

"Probably means not sure and might go the other way. That damn Uchiha pride is gonna be the death of this family," Itachi said looking way too amused for someone who had been spouting words of wisdom about love.

"You're giving me the creeps. And a headache."

"It's okay to be selfish when it comes to the person you love, so don't push Naruto away anymore." Itachi stood up and turned to leave. "Oh, by the way. We haven't found someone to replace your previous nurse. There were some guys who applied who I think would be qualified, but Dad insisted we hire a female nurse. I guess he wanted to make sure you wouldn't end up missing treatments because you're busy flirting with the aide."

"Figures. He never accepted my sexual preference, anyway."

"Don't. He loves you and doesn't care about that," Itachi said. "I know it doesn't seem that way, but he cares and just want you to get well."

"Whatever."  
.  
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 _Fade into me, fade into you_  
 _The two of us melting together_  
 _Until we become something new_  
 _\-- Fade Into Me, David Cook_  
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	3. Chapter 3

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"Are you sure about this?" Minato asked, worry visibly written all over his face.

Naruto responded in the most deadpan way he could muster, said, "Yeah," but when he saw his dad giving him _the look_ – the kind that said a simple 'yeah' didn't cut it – Naruto blew out a frustrated breath. "Okay, I'm not sure if this is a good idea. But Dad, I…." Naruto raised his arm and drew imaginary circles in the air while he tried to get the remaining words out. "I don't know. I… I feel like… like I won't have peace of mind or… or something enormously profound if I don't do this."

"I thought they've hired a nurse for Sasuke already." Minato handed Naruto a folded shirt and Naruto stuffed it with the rest of his things in the large duffle bag. 

"They did. But she only lasted for two days. Go figure." Everything his dad said about Sasuke was right.on the money. The man wasn't just bitter but he was downright rude. Naruto was still convinced it was all an act though, just Sasuke's way of getting rid of him. Sasuke's daft view of breaking up with Naruto three years past so Naruto could have a better life was, in Naruto's opinion, ultimately stupid. And Naruto was determined to prove Sasuke he was wrong.

"I don't think Fugaku would like the idea of you taking the nurse's place." Minato's arms were crossed over his chest, shoulder resting against the doorsill. 

Naruto could feel his dad's eyes on him, watching him pace around the considerably large space while he grabbed random things to throw in his travel bag. He stilled for a minute to meet his dad's gaze. "Why not?" 

"Well… first, you don't have a medical background." The lines on Minato's forehead deepened. "Second… you don't have a medical background. Do you even know what you need to do?"

"No." Naruto zipped his bag close and hurled it over his shoulder, his hand curled tightly around the straps. "But Itachi's desperate. He needs to fly back to Iwa to deal with some shit at the hotel. Besides, Fugaku is still in Iron Country. What he doesn't know won't hurt him." 

Minato shifted to let Naruto pass. "How do you expect to care for someone as sick as Sasuke when even a trained nurse couldn't do it?"

"It's not that she couldn't do it. She just didn't have the stomach to digest Sasuke's charming personality." Naruto didn't even try to hide the sarcasm in his tone. He jogged down the steps with his dad right behind him. "I have to go, Dad. Itachi's flight is in two hours. I have to be at the Uchiha's before he leaves."

Naruto was halfway through the front lawn when his dad called out to him and said, "I hope you realize that what you're doing is worse than suicide."

There couldn't have been truer words. This – whatever Naruto was about to do – was perhaps an emotional self-destruction, but Naruto was willing to take the risk.

 

*

 

"I'm guessing he's not expecting me?" Naruto followed Itachi through the stony pathway along the Uchiha's garden that stretched all the way to back of the compound where Sasuke's apartment stood. 

It seemed like a lifetime since he'd been in the Uchiha compound but he held the same sentiments he had over the rest of Konoha: nothing much had changed. Sure, the Cherry Blossom tree near the white gazebo looked taller and the Kerria shrubs he used to trim with Sasuke whenever he was grounded had grown thicker.

"Of course, he isn't." Itachi rounded the corner, turning left; then led Naruto down a narrow flight of stairs. "It would've been a disaster if I told him you were coming. And I'm pretty sure he would've protested. But… now that you're here, he'll have no choice but to let you stay."

"Somehow I doubt that," Naruto said, grumbling. His insides twisted ferociously – like there was a tornado inside his belly – when he saw Itachi knock on the door then heard Sasuke holler that the door was open. 

"Brace yourself," Itachi warned before crossing the threshold. 

Naruto _so_ wanted to pivot around and rush back home. 

Sasuke was on the couch, his back propped with a couple of pillows. A thick, hardbound book sat on his lap. Navy blue bandana decorated with small red and white fans – the infamous Uchiha symbol – was wrapped around his head. It had been dim in the room when Naruto saw him days ago. Seeing Sasuke in that light made Naruto notice that his eyes looked sunken and darker; cheek bones more prominent and the frail structure of his body was obvious beneath his thick sweater. Sasuke dragged his eyes away from the open pages when Itachi said, "Hey little brother." 

Naruto had little time to survey the room before he heard Sasuke spat, "What the fuck's he doing here?"

Managing to stay cool, calm and collected, Naruto was able to utter, "Hey Sasuke," without his voice cracking. _Shit. Damn._ Why did Sasuke still had that same effect on him, could make his confidence crumble on Sasuke's palm in a matter of seconds?

"Naruto's here to look after you while I head over to Iwa to take care of some business problems." It was clearly an irrevocable statement punctuated with Itachi's unwavering posture.

"I don't need a fucking babysitter," Sasuke threw back with a sharp hiss.

"Yes you do." The stern way Itachi spoke left Sasuke staring up at him with his coal-colored eyes as wide as saucers and when Sasuke parted his lips, perhaps to rebuke, Itachi said, "If you would have treated your caregiver with respect, then she would still be here and I wouldn't have asked Naruto to do this."

"I uh… th-this…" The look of defeat surfaced on Sasuke's visage. "This is ridiculous."

"You have no choice, little brother. Naruto's staying." Itachi crossed his arms over his chest, chin tilted up in defiance. Naruto could see Sasuke's stubborn resolve crumbling. 

"Can't you just call the agency, have them send another nurse?" The cold demeanor that defined Sasuke's attitude seemed to melt and Sasuke now looked less furious and a bit more desperate… or scared. 

"That would take another three days, maybe four." Itachi checked his cell phone and whatever he saw made his brows furrow. "And I don't have time to go through all that. In case you forgot, my flight leaves in an hour and a half."

"I can screen the applicants. Just call the fucking agency and have them send at least three nurses." Sasuke closed the book that he still cradled in his hands with a loud snap. "I can do the damn interview in half the time you and Dad did."

"No, Sasuke. It's the end of the line." Itachi flung his jacket over his shoulder and moved to leave. He was at the door when he stopped to glance back at his brother. "At least have the courtesy to show Naruto his room," Itachi said and one corner of his mouth twitched, forming a crooked smile when he met Naruto's panic-stricken gaze. "Good luck, Naruto. You know how to reach me."

The awkward air that vibrated between Naruto and Sasuke was too uncomfortable that Naruto started to ponder whether agreeing to keep Sasuke company was a ludicrous idea after all.

 

*

 

Naruto settled on the room next to Sasuke's. Judging from the way it looked, Naruto presumed it was a guest room. What its purpose was, Naruto had no clue. He could bet his life savings that Sasuke would never consider having guests stay with him, hardly ever did when they were in high school.

As far as Naruto knew, Itachi stayed at the main house whenever he was here at Konoha. Sasuke, on the other hand, chose to be somewhere where he wouldn't be bothered by the endless flow of people that was why Fugaku had one of the servants' quarters converted into Sasuke's private apartment.

A large chest of drawers stood against the wall. Naruto checked to make sure it was clean before he started to unpack, stuffing his shirts in a less methodical way. He almost had one drawer filled when he heard a loud thud. 

Panicked, Naruto sprinted to Sasuke's room. Horrible thoughts invaded his exhausted mind and Naruto chanted, _please don't be dead, please don't be dead,_ in his head. He flung the door open, almost stumbling in his haste. At any normal circumstance, it would've been considered a dramatic or maybe hilarious entrance but, _fuck_ , Naruto was scared out of his wits. Sasuke was ill and anything could happen, _damn it._

Sasuke was crouched on the floor, books scattered around his bare feet. He lifted his eyes to Naruto and… was that a sheepish look on his face? "I uh… I was just trying to get a book but I accidentally knocked the rest off the shelf," he said.

Naruto mentally coaxed his racing heart to calm down. He tried to hide his embarrassingly frantic reaction in the most serene smile he could pull. "And here I thought you were being attacked by a man wearing a fedora with knives attached to his fingers."

A short derisive breath shot out from Sasuke's nose. He clung on the edge of the shelf then hoisted himself up with a groan. This prompted Naruto to rush over to Sasuke's side but Naruto had barely touched Sasuke when Sasuke raised his hand, palm facing Naruto, and said, "I'm okay. I'm okay."

When Naruto was certain Sasuke wouldn't topple over, he hunkered down to pick up the books then placed each one back on the shelf without caring whether they're in proper order. "I see you still love to read," he said, attempting to start a light conversation. 

"Got nothing better to do," Sasuke said, every word coated with contempt. The congenial air that swirled around them seemed to dissipate and the metaphoric wall that Sasuke had erected between them since Naruto arrived was back in its place. 

"Why don't you watch movies on DVD? I remember you used to love—"

"I don't." The icy glare Sasuke threw at Naruto was so disparaging that it could make anyone flinch, but Naruto held his ground. "Not anymore," Sasuke added in a softer, gentler timbre just as he dragged his eyes back on the book in his hand.

"I see you still love to read Tolkien," Naruto said in an earnest effort to break through the concrete barrier that seemed to grow thicker by the second. "I've given up trying to understand his stories, they're so profound. Only you can—"

"Naruto." Sasuke's tone was grim this time, his indifference more palpable. "I'm tired. I just wanna be left alone."

"Of course." Naruto crept out of Sasuke's room with a heavy heart. This was one battle Naruto doubted he would last but he never backed out on his word. He promised Itachi he would look after Sasuke and that was what he would do. "Call me if you need anything?" Sasuke didn't respond, just climbed onto his bed without sparing Naruto a glance.

 

*+*

 

Guilt. That was the only reason Sasuke could think of why he found himself watching this damn 'Ruruoni Kenshin' film with Naruto. He really hated it when his conscience got the better of him. He should not have stayed to watch this damn movie! But Naruto looked at him with that hopeful expression of his and Sasuke didn't have the heart to say no anymore. And that led him to his current dilemma.

Movie and Naruto were a dangerous combination. Sasuke never wanted to be in this situation again. Because having Naruto beside him, acting like nothing happened while he commented on every single thing he found funny in the movie brought back dangerous memories. 

Of him and Naruto watching any movie more than twice, because Sasuke always ended up kissing Naruto just to stop Naruto's yapping. Of how the kiss would turn into a make out session and making out often led to mutual hand jobs inside the movie theater's lavatory.

_When will this damn thing end? Damn Naruto and his samurai ninja shit obsession!_ He was trying so hard to concentrate on watching the movie and not to get lost in his memories. But Naruto's endless commentaries were not helping at all.

"Are you alright? Are you not feeling well?" Naruto asked, forehead creased in worry. He must have realized that Sasuke was no longer paying attention to his words. 

Not that Sasuke paid attention to them at all as he was busy distracting himself from just grabbing Naruto and kiss him. His senses were on overdrive and all because Naruto was sitting beside him. 

"I'm tired," Sasuke said and cringed when he realized that he'd been using that excuse a lot. Not that it wasn't the truth. "I have an early appointment at the hospital tomorrow."

"Oh, are you having a treatment tomorrow?" Naruto asked.

"Yeah, another chemo session. It's boring, you don’t have to go."

"But I want to. I'm going and that's it," Naruto insisted.

Sasuke shrugged. If Naruto wanted to waste his time waiting for Sasuke's appointment, it was his decision. Now, if only the damn movie would end.

 

*

Sasuke could not sleep. He wanted to take a cold shower but his doctor would kill him if he did. Cold showers at night were absolutely forbidden according to Tsunade. Sasuke might not be optimistic with his situation but he tried his best to avoid doing anything that would further hurt his weak body. 

It was all Naruto's fault. If he hadn't made Sasuke feel guilty for being crude, Sasuke wouldn't be forced to watch that stupid movie with Naruto. And Sasuke wouldn’t be flooded with inappropriate memories that led to this – unfortunate situation.

Sasuke glared at the wall that separated his room and Naruto's. It was all Naruto's fault. Sasuke would bet his inheritance that Naruto was probably sleeping peacefully right now, sprawled out in bed without a care in the world. 

Sasuke wondered if Naruto still used Sasuke's university hoodie as sleepwear – the one that Naruto stole from his wardrobe when Naruto visited Sasuke in Otogakure for the first time. Sasuke remembered how good Naruto looked wearing his clothes, how hot it made Sasuke feel.

Sasuke growled in frustration. It was a pain when he was bothered with explicit memories and he couldn't even _fucking_ masturbate, couldn't even get an erection to begin with. It was in these situations when Sasuke hated his condition and the methods he had to undergo to battle it.

It didn't bother him when Tsunade explained what the side effects of chemotherapy would have on his body. Because Naruto was not in Konoha and definitely not involved in Sasuke's life. Until now. 

Sasuke cursed. He would fucking kill Itachi when his brother returned from his business trip. _Who in their right mind would hire his brother's ex-boyfriend as caregiver? No one! No one except Itachi that is._

He needed something, anything to distract him from the naughty images in his mind. Sasuke sighed and grabbed the book he was reading earlier. _This, is going to be a long night._

 

*

Sasuke hated hospitals. He didn't have great memories of the place. It didn't help that whenever he left his chemo sessions, he always felt weak. And Sasuke hated feeling weak. He also hated all the waiting, before the session and the after session waiting for results. But most of all he hated it when the results were all the same.

"I'd offer you money for your thoughts but since you're richer than J am, how about this pill instead?" Tsunade, the doctor in charge of his case asked.

Sasuke gave a tight smile. "So it's the pill today, huh? Got tired of poking me with sharp objects, Tsunade-sensei?"

"Don't be cheeky brat! Your response was better with this drug, so I want you to continue this. Besides we're giving you the IV drug as well. Seems like they work well together," Tsunade replied. "So which do you want first?"

"It doesn't matter. It feels the same anyway."

"And how does it feel?"

"Painful. The pill tastes like molten metal and even if I'm sure it's all in my head the drug feels like metal shards going through my body. I got used to it so it's all in a day's work for me."

"No pain, no gain right?" Tsunade said as she looked at her chart once more. "Speaking of pain, heard Naruto's staying at your place. Are you back together?"

"As if. Itachi tricked him into being my babysitter. I don't even know why he's back here in Konoha."

"Sakura said he just lost his job and caught his idiot boyfriend cheating on him," Tsunade prattled on while she checked the IV bag first before letting her nurse attendant work on putting the IV needle on Sasuke. 

_The guy was an idiot alright,_ were the words that ran through his head as thoughts of murdering Naruto's ex-boyfriend came to mind. He was furious! No one had the right to hurt Naruto like that. No one! _And why the fuck am I ranting over my ex-boyfriend's foiled relationship?_

Ex-boyfriend. Emphasis on the ex. The past. He had no business getting jealous over trivial matters that do not involve him. _And yet, here I am, going crazy over trivial matters._

Sasuke was distracted from his line of thought when the object of his obsessive thinking strolled through the room and made a beeline toward the chair Sasuke was occupying. 

"Need help?" Naruto asked as he handed the Ipod to Sasuke. 

"Can you help me with the earphones? My left arms's practically useless," Sasuke said, looking pointedly at his limb where the IV catheter was implanted. Naruto obliged and helped place the buds in Sasuke's ears. "You can wait outside."

A look of hesitation flashed across Naruto's face. "Are you sure?"

"Yes." Sasuke kept his eyes closed, thinking, _No, don't go. I need you,_ but knew he couldn't ask Naruto to stay and watch him crumble like a fragile piece of figurine. He couldn't let Naruto see how weak he'd become.

"Okay, I'll be outside if you need me."  
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 _And we can escape_  
 _And watch the world chasing to find us_  
 _Both of us hidden from view_  
 _If you fade into me_  
 _Fade into me_  
 _\-- Fade Into Me, David Cook_  
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	4. Chapter 4

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It was like a sack of sand had been thrown over his shoulders. Sasuke may look thin but he sure was heavy that Naruto's legs wobbled precariously. Climbing down the concrete stairs proved to be a herculean task with Sasuke's weight on him and how they didn't tumble down the narrow steps was nothing short of a miracle. 

_Almost there,_ he coaxed himself when they finally made it down to Sasuke's apartment with the Uchihas' butler, Jugo, right behind them.

"Are you sure you don't need help, Uzumaki-san?" Jugo asked.

Naruto was quick to say, "No, thanks," but his strangled voice betrayed him. Jugo didn't insist though, just hummed a response when Naruto added, "You can leave Sasuke's things on the couch. I'll take care of it later." 

There wasn't any indication whether Jugo left at once. Naruto didn't hear him leave. All he could focus on was getting Sasuke to his room. They barely made it to Sasuke's bed when Sasuke slapped his hand over his mouth and started to retch.

Sasuke broke away from Naruto's grip and careened toward his private bathroom. Naruto scrambled after him and his body was seized with shock when he saw Sasuke practically plunging his face into the toilet bowl and hurling out the contents of his stomach.

It took a few heartbeats before Naruto snapped out of his momentary stupor then sank behind Sasuke, one hand clasped on Sasuke's arm while the other rubbed Sasuke's back. "Sasuke. Tell me what I can do."

"Nothing." Sasuke shrugged Naruto's hands off, causing Naruto to nearly lose his balance. "Just leave me alone."

 _Fat chance that is happening._ Naruto sprang up, grabbed a small towel from the rack and thrust it under the faucet. He pressed the wet cloth over Sasuke's forehead. Sasuke squirmed for a while but Naruto held the cloth firmly in place until Sasuke succumbed to what Naruto would like to believe was temporary comfort. 

Naruto fought the sickness building up in his gut and cleared out the mess Sasuke made, helped Sasuke out of his long-sleeved shirt and jeans then eased the sick man into the tub for a quick sponge bath. Sasuke had stopped resisting so it made Naruto's job easier. 

The fatigue started to creep into Naruto's nerves right after he had helped Sasuke slip into a pair of sweat pants and a plain gray shirt. Naruto tucked Sasuke's shivering body underneath the comforter as quickly as his hands would allow, eager to retire to his own room. 

Sasuke's hand curled around Naruto's wrist when Naruto started to glide away. "Stay. Please," Sasuke pleaded, desperation flickering across his sable orbs. Naruto relentlessly found it hard to deny Sasuke anything so he settled on the edge of the bed, absentmindedly stroking Sasuke's bandana-covered head and hummed the first song that came to mind. 

"I remember that song," Sasuke croaked out when Naruto paused, trying to remember the tune of the bridge. "That was our song."

 _Was._ Memories came pouring into Naruto's mind, creating a tsunami of emotions that made it difficult to focus. They were happy once, cloaked in the comfort of their love. Now they were like strangers trying to sneak around each other, uncertain and afraid. 

Naruto peered down, watching Sasuke's ebony lashes flutter. He studied every inch of Sasuke's face, remembering how he used to stroke Sasuke's cheeks, how he loved to card his fingers through Sasuke's soft, bluish black mane some lifetime ago. 

Sasuke's slow, shallow breathing was the cue Naruto needed to know that Sasuke had fallen asleep so he crept out of the bed carefully and tiptoed out of the room, leaving the door ajar so he would be able to hear Sasuke when he woke up. 

 

*

 

Naruto collapsed on his bed, feeling the rush of exhaustion course through his body. Sasuke had gone through his puking fit twice already that Naruto felt his nerves and muscles were starting to protest. 

It wouldn't have been strenuous if Naruto didn't have to wrestle Sasuke so he could shove some soup and a small piece of toast down Sasuke's throat. Naruto thought it was necessary because he worried that the next time Sasuke threw up, he might spew out his entrails.

Close to dozing off, Naruto's eyes snapped open when he heard the typical heaving noise. He darted straight to Sasuke's bathroom to find his ex-lover hunched over the toilet bowl, face pale and covered in sweat. 

"Sasuke." Naruto was back where he had been just a little less than an hour ago – behind Sasuke, his hand trying to rub some comfort on Sasuke's back. He had gotten used to the smell of vomit and the nasty scent of the chemicals seeping through Sasuke's skin but he doubted he would ever get used to seeing Sasuke like this – like life was slowly slipping out of Sasuke's grasp. 

Once Naruto helped Sasuke into a fresh set of clothes and had Sasuke safely tucked under the covers, he staggered back to his room and snatched his cell phone from the bedside table. It was when he was searching for Sakura's number that he realized his hands were shaking. 

Sakura answered on the second ring with a cheerful, "Hey, how's it going?" Her voice sliced through Naruto's soul, opening up the floodgates of emotions he had been repressing since he watched Sasuke amble inside that hospital room that morning like Sasuke was about to be executed.

"Sakura." Naruto released a purging breath, his uncertainties flowing out in waves. "I don't know if I can do this." 

"Do what, Naruto?" Sakura's tone reverberated with worry. 

"This. I'm not sure if I can keep on watching Sasuke suffer, watch him as pain rip through his body." The need to weep clogged Naruto's throat and he had to suck in a sharp breath to keep from breaking down. "He had chemo earlier and… and… good grief, Sakura. He kept on throwing up that I was afraid he'd spit out his guts eventually. And… and he was shivering, shaking like a leaf. I just… I don't know what to do. I don't know why I'm here. He—Sasuke… he needs someone who has enough knowledge to deal with this shit. Not me. Not me."

"Oh Naruto." The soothing way Sakura spoke did nothing to decelerate Naruto's headlong plunge into the deepest end of anxiety. "If anybody can help Sasuke deal with what he's going through right now, it's you."

Naruto wished that were true. His grip on the phone tightened and if he were to look, he was certain his knuckles had turned white. "I can't." He shook his head at the thought that there was no way he could get past this – no way that he could continue watching Sasuke's life shatter like a fragile crystal. Warm tears streamed down his cheeks.

"Yes you can," Sakura encouraged. "C'mon Naruto. You're stronger than this."

A small voice inside Naruto's head reminded him that he chose to be here in the first place. Whatever his intentions were, he couldn't just leave Sasuke, not when Sasuke looked so vulnerable. "Fuck, Sakura. It was almost… almost as if he was… like he was about to die. The convulsions, the vomiting. It was all too much."

"Yeah. It’s a common reaction to chemotherapy," Sakura said grimly, almost in a whisper. "Just let him rest."

 _Rest._ It was exactly what Naruto needed too but his mind refused to submit to the luxury of relaxation. "I feel like the blind leading the blind, Sakura. I don't know what to do."

There was an audible sigh then, "I'll see if I can ask for some pamphlets about leukemia and chemotherapy from Grandma Tsunade. Maybe that will help," Sakura offered, her optimism vibrating through the phone.

Naruto should've done that when he ran into Tsunade at the hospital that afternoon, but his mind splintered off to different directions. "That will be great. Thanks."

What started out as a frantic phone call gradually eased into a more serene conversation so when Naruto bid Sakura good night, he felt a tad better.

 

*

 

It was around three in the morning when Naruto had to get up because Sasuke had a _fucking_ nightmare. And of course, Sasuke had trouble going back to sleep, complaining that it was hot but he didn't want Naruto to turn on the air-conditioning. Naruto had to press a cool towel all over Sasuke's body just to shut him up.

Sasuke begged Naruto not to leave, almost uncharacteristically, and since Naruto was too tired to argue, he stayed. He folded onto the small couch opposite Sasuke's bed and didn't elude the weightless pull that goaded him to slip right into deep slumber. 

A gentle but rather persistent prodding on Naruto's shoulder jerked him awake. Naruto's heart made a slight jolt when he saw Sasuke's face close to his the moment Naruto lifted his eyelids. The miniscule smile that slid into Sasuke's lips made Naruto's breath hitch.

The room was bathed with a gentle orange glow coming from the rays of light peeking through the blinds. It was morning.

"What timezit?" Naruto rubbed his eyes and peeled his back off the couch. 

"A little past nine," Sasuke said, moving away languorously. "Sorry about last night. I won't blame you if you want to pack your bags and run off."

Naruto pushed an eyebrow up. "Like I'm going anywhere." He got to his feet, stretched his neck from one side to the other in a useless attempt to get rid of the nasty crick and said, "How 'bout I make you some breakfast?"

"I'm not really hungry." Sasuke's tone wasn't harsh or dismissive. In fact, Naruto thought he heard a hint of nervousness that he had to swivel around to check Sasuke's expression.

Sasuke rocked on the heels of his feet, eyes darting around the room. "I uh…" He stuffed his hands in the front pockets of his sweat pants before pulling his gaze back to Naruto. "I wanted to thank you. For what you did yesterday. You shouldn't have. But… you know," he said with a casual shrug.

A thousand responses swirled in Naruto's head and he wanted to throw the wittiest remark but instead he settled for "You're welcome," then stretched his lips into a heartfelt smile. A faint shade of crimson appeared on Sasuke's pale cheeks. "I insist on breakfast though because I'm famished. What would you want to have?"

"I think all I have left are eggs."

Naruto was grateful for the warning because he would've been shocked to see an almost empty refrigerator save for half a dozen of eggs, a quarter-filled carton of milk and a loaf of white bread. "I may have to pick up the groceries for you."

"You don't have to do that." Sasuke slid into a chair. "We can send Jugo or one of the helpers to the supermarket."

A series of soft chirping (the quietest alert tone he can find) coupled with a gentle vibration prompted Naruto to fish his phone out from his pocket. There was a text message from Sakura telling him that she was able to get the pamphlets she promised. 

Naruto's thumbs flew across the screen, typing, 'Okay, hang on to it, I'll pick it up later,' then sent his reply before lifting his eyes to Sasuke who seemed to be studying him with interest. "It's okay. I can go get it for you. But I have to go to the Yondaime Kafe first. I need to pick up something from Sakura."

Disappointment crossed Sasuke's face. "Oh." His gaze fell on the kitchen table and he started playing with the hem of shirt. "Okay."

It was as if Naruto was looking at an entirely different Sasuke – one who was uncertain, trapped within a sense of agitation and a bit… well, 'shy' was the word Naruto could come up with. Naruto wondered where the bitter, hostile and totally rude Sasuke had gone. Maybe this was another side effect of the chemotherapy?

An idea hopped into Naruto's mind – probably the most absurd one he'd had since he arrived but it was worth a try. "Why not come with me?" 

Sasuke's eyes snapped up to Naruto's, a mask of perplexity settling on his face. "What? I… I don't think I can."

"Oh come on, Sasuke." Naruto started cracking the eggs into a bowl. "When was the last time you've been out other than your usual trip to the hospital?"

Sasuke stared at him, eyes clouded with uncertainty. The lack of his usual retort or snide, smart-assed remarks was enough for Naruto to know that it had been too long. 

 

*+*

 

"You still look good. Stop fussing." Naruto assured him as he opened the door to Yondaime Kafe and ushered Sasuke to one of the corner booths near the bar.

"Easy for you to say as you're not the sporting the walking dead look," Sasuke retorted and sat where he thought he would be least seen by anyone. He wasn't there to socialize. He just agreed to this to stop Naruto from bugging him.

"Well…" Naruto took a few steps back and grinned cheekily at him. "I don’t think your fan club frequents this place so no need to worry about them seeing their idol looking less than perfect."

"Ha fucking ha," Sasuke replied, making no attempt to hide the annoyance from his voice. He checked his reflection on the window behind him and grimaced. He never liked how he looked after a chemotherapy session. He always looked horrible from the side effects of the drugs. He even felt worse and he knew it would not take a lot for him to snap if someone got on his nerves.

"Oh, the kitty has claws," Naruto teased to which Sasuke replied with a glare. Sasuke hoped that it would be enough to make Naruto stop but the amused expression on his face told Sasuke otherwise. If looks could kill, Naruto would have dropped dead ten times already with the intensity of Sasuke's glare.

Any normal human would have fumbled under that deadly glare and ran for the nearest exit. But Naruto's stance did not falter one bit. He just grinned at Sasuke and said, "Alright, I get it. You're cranky and hungry. I'll go look for Sakura and get what I need from her. Want me to order lunch for us?"

"Iruka's still in charge of the kitchen?" Sasuke asked. He was not sure if his stomach was ready for a full meal yet and knowing Iruka's 'mothering' tendencies, he'd totally slip in extra servings in Sasuke's order. Iruka used to do that when Naruto and Sasuke used to frequently dine in the restaurant. Iruka always said that he needed to eat more to keep up with Naruto's antics.

Sasuke always thought that was just Iruka's excuse. However, it turned out that Iruka knew Naruto had an appetite equal to ten hungry wrestlers and that Naruto loved to steal Sasuke's 'leftovers' after finishing off his share. The extra servings must have been Iruka's way to ensure that Sasuke got to eat his fill first before Naruto swiped Sasuke's food to fill the endless pit that Naruto called his stomach.

"Yup, still is. I wonder if he'll give us extras again?" Naruto replied, his eyes glazing possibly over the thought of that much food.

"I'm not hungry," Sasuke said and almost took the words back when Naruto frowned at him.

"You should eat more," Naruto said before he turned his back to Sasuke and made his way towards the bar where Minato was currently serving a customer.

He knew he should not be bothered by the disappointment he saw on Naruto's face. They were long over and Sasuke wasn't supposed to care about Naruto anymore. But Sasuke was quite sure that the uncomfortable feeling he felt when he met Naruto's gaze was not due to an upset stomach.

Sasuke was still debating whether to go after Naruto to… _To what? It's not like he needs me to cheer him up._ Sasuke thought bitterly when he heard Naruto laugh. _Guess I wasn't important enough for him to dwell on._

Sasuke really didn't appreciate the direction his thoughts had taken. Though he couldn't help but feel – _Betrayed? Annoyed? Alright, fucking jealous!_ – while he watched Naruto talk to Sakura and the other patrons of the restaurant.

Everyone seemed to like Naruto, which wasn't really a surprise as Naruto had always been friendly. It always amazed Sasuke how Naruto could remain optimistic and happy despite the troubles he'd been through. Sasuke had always compared Naruto to a ray of sunshine because of that.

"Sasuke?"

Sasuke took his gaze off Naruto and turned towards the direction of the voice only to find Shikamaru looking at him in confusion. "Shikamaru."

"I wasn't sure if it was you. I had to make sure first," Shikamaru said and sat on the opposite side of the booth without waiting for an invite from Sasuke to join him.

 _Fuck, not today. Please, not today._ Sasuke braced himself at the look of pity that he was certain would be on the other man's eyes when he finally saw Sasuke's condition. There was a reason why he didn't like going to public places that's not the hospital. It was to avoid situations like this.

"Wow, it's rare to see you out. When was the last time we last saw each other? Two, three years ago?" Shikamaru asked and shouted towards the bar without waiting for Sasuke's answer. "Hey, Kiba! Look who the wind blew over!"

 _Not Kiba, please, not Kiba._ Sasuke silently prayed to all deity he knew of. Maybe if he left now, Kiba wouldn't notice him. But it was too late because Kiba already spotted him and shouted his damn effing full name for everyone in the restaurant to hear.

_Kill me now._

"Damn! Where'd you been cooped up, man? You missed out a lot, I tell you," Kiba said as soon as he was beside the booth. "Hey Minato-san! Tell Sai and Shino to take their breaks now. Konoha's finest are back together with Naruto and Sasuke here. We need to have a celebration!"

"Who made you boss, Kiba?" Minato replied in a way that was supposed to be reprimanding. But the face-splitting smile Minato sported made it hard to take the scolding seriously. And the way he yelled at Sai and Shino to get their lazy asses out of his kitchen had Kiba grinning like crazy.

Sasuke was horrified. If he could will the ground to split open and swallow him up he would. Whatever possessed him to agree to Naruto's idea? He so wanted to leave and when he finally made up his mind to make his escape, he found his route blocked by Kiba, who scooted closer to him to give room for Sai to sit on. Shino chose to sit beside Shikamaru, followed by Naruto who grinned at Sasuke smugly.

He was soon surrounded by the pleasant chatter of his former high school friends as they talked about their lives. Mostly for Naruto and Sasuke's sake as it turned out that the other four still got together occasionally for drinks. Sai, Kiba and Shino worked together and Shikamaru's workplace was just near Yondaime Kafe.

Sasuke was astonished to find himself listening to his friends intently. He would jump off the cliff first before he would admit that he missed them. Everything about them, including the loud, pleasant conversation and the hilarious company.

Even if Sasuke didn't make an effort to join the conversation, nobody seemed to mind. They tried to ask for his opinions about mundane topics though but they never tried to pry answers from questions he was certain they wanted to ask. If he was honest, he was relieved that his… friends didn't make his situation such a big deal. That they still treated him the same way they did back in high school, even if it was quite obvious that he was not… well.

Maybe, Naruto was right, but he would never tell him that.

 

*

Sasuke groaned when his mobile phone rang for the third time since he returned home with Sakura. Naruto was still out picking up the groceries and he had roped Sakura into looking after Sasuke while he was out.

Sasuke was doing his best to ignore the call, seeing as it was just Itachi. Usually Itachi left him alone when he didn't answer on the first call. But his stupid brother was so damn insistent today that he had no choice but to answer it lest he wanted to develop a headache from the incessant ringing of the annoying gadget.

He grabbed the phone, flipped it open and growled, "What do you want?"

"That a way to greet your dear brother?" Itachi replied, Sasuke could just imagine him shaking his head in amusement.

"What. Do. You. Want?" Sasuke repeated, emphasizing each word, hoping that Itachi would fucking get the hint that Sasuke was not in the mood to talk to him.

"You're no fun. I just wanted to ask how your little excursion was today."

"Who told you?" Sasuke asked, annoyed that Itachi actually called to pester him about this nonsensical things. "And what's the big deal. It’s not like I'm not allowed to go out or something."

"Sasuke—" Itachi said, his voice taking on the tone of someone who seemed to be talking to a five year old, "—you refused to go out of the house except for hospital appointments after you were diagnosed. For three years. And you're surprised why I'm making this a big deal?"

"Naruto practically dragged me along. He insisted I should go out once in a while."

"Oh. Naruto," Itachi said in that annoying know it all voice of his. "So, how was the makeup sex? Three years was a lot, you know."

"Asshole," Sasuke hissed over the phone. Leave it to Itachi to ask stupid questions. "We're not back together, and will never be. He wouldn't want me. Not when I'm a mess with less than two percent chance of living past twenty five."

"Are you sure about that? Did Naruto tell you that?"

"Not in so many words."

Sasuke heard Itachi sigh. That was never a good sign. When Itachi sighs, it meant that he'd be spouting some words of wisdom that always left Sasuke doubting his decisions.

"I'm telling you, Sasuke. I'd award you first place for jumping into stupid conclusions if there ever was a contest for that," Itachi said, exasperation evident in his voice. "Listen carefully because I won't say this anymore. Don't let your self-pity get in the way of your happiness. You're the only who thinks that you don't deserve to be happy because you're ill. Naruto cares for you, why else would he sacrifice his time for you and endure your horrible attitude? Open your fucking mind, dude! You're an Uchiha, show some backbone, will you? Don't come whining to me when you finally realized that I'm right but it's already too late. I'm done. Goodbye."

Sasuke stared at the phone in disbelief. He couldn't believe it but the busy tone coming from the phone was proof enough. For the first time in his life, Itachi was aggravated enough to hang up on him.

 

*

 

Sasuke was shading his current drawing when Sakura found him in his usual corner in the study. She said that she was looking for him to ask if he needed anything and when Sasuke answered no, she went to get a book and sat down on the empty chair across him.

Sasuke usually didn't like it when anyone intruded in his alone time. But since Sakura just kept to her book, Sasuke didn't mind. They sat in companionable silence. Sasuke was putting the finishing touches on his art when Sakura asked, "That a new project?"

"No. Just something to ease boredom."

"Oh," Sakura said and closed the book she was reading before placing it on the table in front of her. "How's the business? Must be nice, working at your own pace."

Sasuke shrugged. He closed his sketchbook and placed it beside Sakura's book. Sasuke usually avoided conversations with Sakura, but since it's a safe topic, he'd answer as needed. "Not a lot of new clients, I just revamp some of the websites I designed before. There's a lot of competition for web designers and graphic artists out there and with my condition right now. Well…"

"I understand. These your art commissions? Can I take a look?" Sakura asked, picking up the sketchbook that Sasuke placed on the table. Sakura had already opened on the page Sasuke was working on before Sasuke could tell her no.

Sasuke saw Sakura's eyes widen in surprise. He wanted to grab the sketchbook back from her but he was frozen in place. He forgot that most of the drawings inside were of Naruto. He was quiet sure that he had offended a powerful deity in his past life and this was his punishment.

"You still love him, don't you?" Sakura asked softly and made eye contact with him.

 _There's no harm in saying it. It’s not like we're going to get back together anyway._ "I never stopped," Sasuke answered. "I was jealous of your closeness and tried to take him away from you. And then I hurt him. Aren't you mad at me?"

"You did what you thought was right. And honestly, I don't have the right to judge. And, Sasuke, please don't tell me… that time in high school, when you ignored Naruto… you thought we were together?" Sakura asked with a hint of teasing.

Sakura must have interpreted his silence as a yes because she giggled. "Really, Sasuke? Naruto and I. We're best friends, we love each other like siblings and we'll never be more than that. I'm dating Sai since I entered medical school. And besides, during high school—" Sakura looked away, a pink blush dusting her cheeks and Sasuke almost had to lean forward to hear her, "—I had a big crush on you."

 _Now, that's something I didn't know._ It took guts to admit that and because he didn't want things to remain awkward, he blurted out, "It's no surprise actually, I dominated the polls for best boyfriend material every year in high school, even if I had a boyfriend. Don't worry, it doesn't bother me one bit."

Sakura's reply was to laugh out loud and Sasuke knew right then that even for a short moment, things were going to be a little alright.  
.  
.  
.  
 _When I'm broken you're the one thing I need_  
 _Like an ocean I feel you crash over me_  
 _When we disappear into each other_  
 _Our colors appear and bleed into one_  
 _\-- Fade Into Me, David Cook_  
.  
.  
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	5. Chapter 5

.  
.  
.  
The first step to improve Sasuke's condition was to get him into an appropriate diet. At least that was what the pamphlets and booklets said. _Whatever._ It wouldn't hurt to try and Naruto had been on several trips to specialty stores to pick up exactly what he needed.

Most of the things he had bought were health products, including some herbs and other natural food from Shunrakuzen. Sasuke would probably hate half of this but Naruto would make sure his efforts wouldn't go to waste.

Naruto was putting away the groceries, his head buried in the refrigerator, when he heard the soft chime from his laptop. He left it on the kitchen table, hoping to check his emails before Sasuke woke up from his afternoon nap. He saw Itachi's username flashing on his AIM window and Naruto slid his finger on the touch pad to open the IM box.

 _'Naruto, how's it going?'_ were the words written next to Itachi's username.

Naruto's fingers skipped across the keyboard. _'Okay, I guess. I'm still sane, barely, and you're brother is still alive.'_

 _'And to think I was worried,'_ was Itachi's next message. Naruto could almost see the grin on Itachi's face. Before Naruto could respond, he saw the notification that Itachi was still typing so Naruto waited then read what Itachi sent next. _'Listen, Naruto. I may need to stay here longer than planned. I know I promised I'd be back soon but the problems here are greater than I anticipated. I know you originally planned to work at your dad's café but I'm willing to compensate you for your efforts if you stay with Sasuke a bit longer.'_

The mere thought that Itachi would be paying him made him feel utterly awkward somehow. _'That won't be necessary, Itachi. I'll be fine staying with Sasuke, no need to pay me for it.'_

Itachi seemed pretty insistent, if his words were anything to go by. _'But I insist. I don't think I could rest easy if I don't. Please let me?'_

Naruto stared at the screen, pride and humility warring inside him.

 _'You still there?'_

_'Yeah. Sorry.'_ Naruto's fingers went stiff. _'Do what you must but I don't want Sasuke to think I'm only doing this because I'm getting paid for it.'_

A loud thud broke Naruto's musing and he quickly typed: _'I heard a noise from Sasuke's room. He's probably awake and knocked some books off his shelf again.'_

 _'Go check on him. I have to go anyway,'_ was the last thing he read from Itachi's message box.

Naruto didn't wait for any indication that Itachi had logged off. He made his way over to Sasuke's room, expecting to see Sasuke crouched over some books. Naruto felt as if his heart stopped when he saw Sasuke sprawled on the floor, unconscious.

 

*

 

Naruto hated the revolting scent that lingered along the white hallways of the hospital. The mixed taste of alcohol and disinfectant and other unknown chemicals clung to his nose and strangely on his tongue as well. 

The sound of his name nudged him back to the present. Naruto's eyes met the nurse's and seeing Shizune's calm veneer eased Naruto's worries a little. "How's Sasuke?" he asked, subtly crossing his fingers that he would hear good news.

"He's going to be just fine," Shizune said, a small arc taking shape on her lips. "Tsunade-sensei would like to keep him overnight just to monitor his condition."

Naruto could only nod, not sure if Shizune was simply informing him or was asking for his consent, which he didn't have the right to give. 

"Tsunade wishes to talk to you, though. Come with me." She led him inside Sasuke's room where Sasuke was fast asleep.

The doctor was there, standing by hospital bed and scribbling on a clipboard. "Ah, Naruto," she said, slipping the clipboard on a hook at the foot of Sasuke's bed. 

"Tsunade-sensei."

The smile that the blonde doctor offered wasn't as comforting as Shizune's. "Itachi had given the permission for me to inform you of Sasuke's condition."

Naruto offered no reaction, just waited for the doctor to enlighten him.

"There was a sudden drop in his blood platelet which resulted to him losing consciousness. But he's stable now although I want to run a few tests so he'll have to stay here for the night," Tsunade explained. "I called Uchiha-san in Iron Country to let him know of the situation." Hearing this made Naruto's heart skip. "He's not too pleased to hear that Sasuke no longer had a caregiver but don't worry, I assured him you're doing a good job looking after Sasuke."

Naruto sighed, thankful that Fugaku wasn't going to ask him to walk the plank. Or he hoped the old Uchiha wouldn't. "Is there something I should do?"

The doctor shook her head. "You've done enough for now. Why don't you go home and rest?"

Naruto's eyes glided over to Sasuke, watching the rhythmic rise and fall of Sasuke's chest. "Can I stay here for a while?"

"Of course."

After Tsunade and Shizune left the room, Naruto remained on his feet but when his knees started to wobble, he pulled a chair from a corner and dragged it next to Sasuke's bed. His butt had barely touched the wooden surface when Sasuke's eyes fluttered open.

"Hey," Sasuke said with a weary smile. "I thought you left."

"Doctor said I could stay a while." Naruto lifted his hand, thinking of stroking Sasuke's cheek but when he realized what he was about to do, he pretended to adjust Sasuke's pillow instead. "How are you feeling?"

Sasuke pressed a hand – the one without the IV – over his eyes. "Like I've been in hell and back." 

"You scared the shit out of me."

The corners of Sasuke's mouth curled into a roguish smile. He lifted his hand, eyes slanting over to Naruto. "I didn't know you care."

"Shut up," Naruto said, smacking Sasuke's shoulder lightly. "They said you'll have to stay here for the night. So I'm just gonna go back to your place later, okay."

"Okay." Sasuke's eyes started to droop. 

"Why don't you go back to sleep? I'll wake you up when I have to leave." 

Sasuke gave a curt nod and was out before Naruto could say 'sweet dreams' or some sappy shit. 

 

*

 

Sasuke's apartment was draped in silence. The faint echoes of Sasuke's torment vibrated within the walls. It was an eerie setting for Naruto's ailing heart. 

Hours drifted by like a gentle breeze – could hardly be noticed but could certainly be felt. Naruto had done nothing but stare at a blank page of a Word document, unable to string ideas and craft them into phrases. It was his premature decision to try his hand at writing a novel, just like his godfather, Jiraiya, but _damn,_ he never knew weaving ideas was this hard. He pushed his laptop close, frustration gnawing at the back of his mind. 

Restless and agitated, Naruto started cleaning up the place even if it was unnecessary. Damn it, he just had to keep his hands busy. Once he had the coffee table's surface gleaming and the couch practically dust-free and the kitchen worthy of passing sanitary inspection, he migrated to Sasuke's study. 

Naruto spent the first hour arranging the stack of papers neatly on Sasuke's desk, picking up crumpled sheets around the trash cans and dusting tables and chairs. 

There was a box hidden inside an open drawer that caught Naruto's eye. He knew he shouldn't even touch it, but curiosity got the best of him. He lifted the lid, promising himself that he would just take a quick peek. A few things that stirred up old memories lay on top. 

Naruto's fingers dug through the contents and tears welled up in his eyes when he realized that the box held a collection of things he and Sasuke shared when they were together. There were tickets to movies they've seen, baseball games they've gone to and concerts they've watched. There were also matches and napkins from restaurants where they had countless brunches and lunches and dinners, even a Polaroid photo of their first date, a plastic ring – one Naruto recalled they got from a town's fair where they went through a pretend wedding. 

At the bottom were printed emails – those Naruto sent during their first year in college, the first time they were apart. It was like Sasuke had kept every piece of their relationship inside that box. Naruto was about to slip the thing back inside the drawer when he saw his own image – though a younger version – peering up at him. He knew Sasuke wasn't really sentimental so it was quite a surprise to discover that Sasuke had kept Naruto's photos all this time.

Naruto didn't know what to think, didn't even know what to feel. An uncomfortable ache settled in his chest as if there were talons digging into his heart.

For three years – three _fucking_ years – the thought that Sasuke no longer felt the same way for him sent him to a winding road of depression. Now, knowing that Sasuke had preserved the phantoms of their relationship albeit in secret was somehow healing the scars left by his grief. 

With that bit of enlightenment though came cosmic regret. Why _the fuck_ didn't he even try to save their relationship back then? Was it too late to save it now? 

 

*+*

 

"You can still leave you know," Sasuke blurted out of the blue. They had just arrived at Sasuke's apartment and Sasuke had been cranky since they left the hospital. He really hated hospitals, he could barely tolerate the hours he had to stay for chemotherapy sessions, so any situation where he had to stay overnight was classified as unacceptable in his opinion. 

That must have been the reason why he felt like saying those things. And damn was he dreading Naruto's reaction to it.

"What?" Naruto dropped the duffel bag on the coffee table and turned his attention to Sasuke, who sat uncomfortably on the couch. 

"Leave, escape. Whatever. You're not really obliged to keep up with me," Sasuke said and met Naruto's gaze. He wanted to pretend that he didn't say anything but his damn pride would not let him. Sasuke blamed the drugs he'd been injected in the hospital for anything that came out of his wayward lips. "It's not like you're having fun with grumpy old me."

Naruto grinned, his eyes twinkling, like he knew some great big secret that Sasuke was supposed to be privy to but could not figure out what. Sasuke wanted so much to avert his attention from Naruto but he couldn't. Because loathe as he was to admit, Naruto's grin somehow made the pain bearable.

"First off, we're both twenty-three. You're not old, just grumpy," Naruto said cheekily. "Besides, you won't get rid of me that easy. I'm not going anywhere, Sasuke." Naruto's gaze pierced right through him that Sasuke had to look the other way lest he got lost in the depth of Naruto's eyes. 

He hated it. The guilt he felt whenever Naruto looked at him like that – with eyes that begged Sasuke to believe him like he did something wrong for Sasuke not to trust him when it should not be the case.

"So, what do you want for lunch? I think I still have ingredients for salad in the fridge," Naruto asked and made to move towards the kitchen.

"I'm not hungry," Sasuke said and stood up from the couch, a little too quickly for his body's liking as the room seemed to tilt in his vision. He felt a warm hand grip his right arm to help him regain his balance.

"Easy there," Naruto whispered, placing Sasuke's right arm over his shoulder and gently pulling Sasuke closer to his body. "Your room?"

Sasuke nodded and let Naruto help him walk to his room. He was embarrassed that he was letting Naruto half-carry him to bed but he was damn tired so he couldn't care less. It didn't hurt that it was during moments like these that Sasuke could feel Naruto's body close to him without guilt. If he was destined to die young, it wouldn't be too much to ask to let him bask in Naruto's warmth whenever he had the chance.

The distance from the living room to his bedroom was short but the journey felt like ages to Sasuke due to his dead weight. He heaved a sigh of relief when Naruto carefully placed him on the bed. 

"I'll get your pajamas," Naruto said and made his way to Sasuke's closet. Sasuke could not help but follow Naruto's movements. There was something about that gesture that made Sasuke's stomach flutter. It was oddly domestic and Sasuke didn't mind it one bit.

Sasuke averted his gaze when Naruto closed the closet. It was then that Sasuke noticed that there was something wrong with his room. It was squeaky clean for someone who didn't bother to clean up after himself and forbid anyone to just enter his room to clean up.

"Who the fuck came in here?" Sasuke shouted, furious that someone was stupid enough to defy his orders. And that he could not fucking move the way he wanted because his body felt like an elephant had sat on it.

"Oh, that was me. The room looked like a hurricane went through it so I tidied up a little. The pamphlet said—"

"I don't give a shit what the fucking pamphlet said," Sasuke ground out. "I don't care if you love playing housekeeper and shit but lay off my things!"

"I was just trying to help!"

"Well you're not helping at all!" Sasuke grabbed the nearest thing he could lay his hand on and threw it. He heard a crash and a yell.

"Leave me alone! I don't need you. I don't need your twisted sense of obligation. I left you three years ago because I don't need you. Nobody told you to return and take care of me. Get it in your thick head, I didn't need you then and I definitely don't need you now!"

Sasuke grabbed a pillow and placed it over his head. He pretended not to hear Naruto call his name. He was worn-out and he just wanted to sleep and forget – everything. 

 

*

 

It was dark when Sasuke woke up. His head was throbbing and his body felt like a million feet trampled on him. It took a moment before his eyes adjusted to seeing in the dark. He carefully searched for the switch of the lamp on his bedside table and flipped it on. Sasuke closed his eyes when light spilled onto the bed. 

He was hungry and knew that he should get out of bed to eat dinner. But dinner meant going out of his room and facing Naruto – _the_ Naruto who was in charge of making his dinner and had just seen him throw a fit over something as petty as someone cleaning his room. It wouldn't surprise Sasuke if Naruto decided to get even and spat on Sasuke's meal or something.

It was times like this when he wished that he possessed magic. Or owned a machine that granted the user's every wish. If he had those, then maybe he might not be in this situation. Naruto would still be his boyfriend and he wouldn't be… well, counting the days that he could still open his eyes and breathe. 

_No use crying over spilt milk. Man up, Uchiha._ Sasuke thought as he finally got out of the bed and went to his private bath to clean up. He wanted – no – he needed to apologize to Naruto for his earlier behavior. No one deserved that kind of shit Sasuke unleashed earlier. Not Naruto, who was just trying his best to help someone as undeserving as Sasuke.

He just hoped that Naruto would accept his apology.

 

*

 

Sasuke was not someone who easily got scared. There were a few things that he held precious that anyone could use against him and loathe as he was to admit, anything that involved Naruto could make him break into cold sweat. 

After he found Sakura in the kitchen earlier when he expected to find Naruto so he could apologize to him, Sakura told him that Naruto left the apartment, indefinitely. Sasuke didn't believe her at first, until he saw the room that Naruto occupied devoid of Naruto's things.

So it was quite understandable and justified why he was inside his father's car and was on his way to Yondaime Kafe, willingly. 

"We're here, Sasuke-bocchan," His father's chauffer announced, opening the car's door and helping Sasuke get out of the vehicle.

"Just wait in the car," Sasuke ordered and tightened the belt of his coat. For some reason, tonight was colder than the usual. Figured that the weather would add up to his anxiety only because nothing ever went the way Sasuke planned.

But Sasuke didn't have anything planned for today. It was a spur of the moment decision because he got scared that Naruto had finally given up. And that Sasuke would no longer have the chance to tell him that he was still in love with him. That he never stopped. And that he would do anything to have Naruto back in his arms.

 _So why the hell am I still standing here? I should go inside and look for Naruto._ Sasuke thought as he opened the door to the café and went in. He looked around, eyes searching for that distinct blond hair and sighed in relief when he easily spotted Naruto in the bar.

Sasuke made a beeline to where Naruto stood. He ignored the greetings of some people as he passed them by. "Let's go home," Sasuke said as soon as he was within hearing distance from Naruto.

Sasuke saw Naruto's back stiffen before the other man spun around to face him. "You shouldn't be going out in this weather, Sasuke. Go back. You'll make Sakura worry."

"Not without you," Sasuke insisted, hating that his voice sounded so desperate. But if he had to beg on his knees for Naruto to return with him, he would do so. He didn't care if he would be making a scene, most of the patrons were people he knew while growing up. They were all used to scenes such as this whenever he and Naruto fought in the past.

"You don't need me there..."

"But I do! Haven't you learned not to listen to me when I'm in pain? I lash out and don't mean half of what I usually say. I need you. I need you to stay with me. I—" Sasuke had to stop, to prevent himself from crying. Damn, it had been years since he last cried. He couldn't, wouldn't cry now.

"Go home, Sasuke," Naruto said one last time before bolting to the kitchen and leaving Sasuke behind.

 

*

 

Sasuke didn't think it would hurt that much. _Was this how Naruto felt when I pushed him away three years ago?_ It felt worse than those stupid chemotherapy sessions he'd been to. Sasuke could tolerate physical pain but emotional pain was his weakness. He wasn't strong, not like Itachi or his father. Not like Naruto.

 _Please make it stop. Kami, make it stop._ Sasuke pleaded over and over again.

He heard someone knocking on his door but ignored it, thinking it was Sakura trying to make him talk to her. "Go away! I don't want to talk to you, Sakura!" Sasuke yelled when the rhythmic tapping wouldn't stop.

"It's not Sakura," The person on the other side said and Sasuke almost tripped in his haste to open the door. 

"Naruto, I'm sor—"

"Shh." Naruto placed his right index finger on Sasuke's lips. "Listen well Sasuke Uchiha because I won't repeat this again. I'm staying but there will be some changes in the way we do things around here. I will lay down some ground rules and if you disobey even just one of them, I'm gonna walk out that door and won't be coming back. Understood?"

Sasuke nodded in agreement and stepped aside to let Naruto in.

"Number one—" Naruto started as soon as he entered the room "—that attitude of yours needs to change. I don't like you lashing out on me whenever you feel like shit. I know you're in pain but talk to me, don't act tough then take your anger out on me afterwards."

"Yes."

"Number two, you need to eat healthy foods. And no skipping meals or medication either," Naruto continued and started pacing around the room.

"Number three, you need to get some fresh air and sunlight. You're so pale, you look like a vampire." Sasuke couldn't help the smile that graced his face. Naruto was rambling. The last time Naruto acted like this was when he confronted Sasuke when they were fifteen. Sasuke was never good with words, he'd always been better at showing his feelings through actions. Maybe it'd work the second time around.

 _You'll never know until you try._ Sasuke crossed the distance between him and Naruto. He spun the other man around, grabbed both of Naruto's wrists and backed him against the wall.

"Teme! What do you think—" Naruto's eyes widened in disbelief – whether from Sasuke's unexpected show of strength or the fact that he was trapped between the wall and Sasuke's body – Sasuke didn't give a damn. The most important thing was Naruto was in his arms again and _fuck,_ that felt like heaven. "You don't get to—"

Sasuke's mouth stole the rest of Naruto's words, his lips sliding against Naruto's in a rather tentative kiss. "Don't think," he whispered, this close to Naruto made his body buzz.

Naruto started to say, "Are you listen—" but Sasuke silenced him once more with another kiss, this time with more confidence.

"Kami, that felt good," Sasuke contemplated out loud, anything that made him feel like shit earlier seeping out of his body.

"Rule four," left Naruto's mouth as soon as Sasuke allowed him to breathe. He looked rather dazed, blue eyes unfocused. "What's rule four? Oh kisses. Definitely more kisses."

"Naruto," Sasuke whispered, his voice a timbre lower, the one that Sasuke knew made Naruto putty in his hands. Naruto looked at him, eyes hazy and lips wet and slightly swollen from their make out session. _Damn, he's so gorgeous._ "Shut up."  
.  
.  
.  
 _Fade into me, fade into you_  
 _The two of us melting together_  
 _Until we become something new_  
 _\-- Fade Into Me, David Cook_  
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	6. Chapter 6

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The dark tight pants were starting to feel oddly comfortable. It hugged Naruto's thighs and legs like second skin.

Why he agreed to dress like a ninja was beyond him. He only did it so Sasuke would agree to come to the stupid costume party his dad was hosting at The Yondaime Kafe to celebrate a foreign tradition called Halloween. 

Sasuke didn't look like he was enjoying himself though, just remained in the corner booth, nodding at anyone who came up to him with a stiff smile occasionally sliding across his lips. He's not even dressed for the occasion. Naruto felt bad for leaving him every five minutes to mingle with the other guests. 

Sakura handed him a glass of orange juice for Sasuke and something stronger for himself and said, "He's looking better," gesturing at Sasuke with her chin. She was right. Sasuke did look a lot better compared to the first day Naruto moved (temporarily) into Sasuke's apartment. 

"Well, I had him on that diet I got from the pamphlets you gave me." Naruto took the drinks, thanked Sakura and strode over to Sasuke's table. "Having fun?" he asked, sliding into the booth across the sulking Uchiha.

"Yeah." Sasuke offered the same tight smile he'd been wearing all night. 

Naruto was tempted to tell Sasuke he didn't believe him, tell Sasuke they could leave if Sasuke wanted to go home but Naruto felt his lips twitch to mirror Sasuke's smile and said, "Good." He took a sip of his rum concoction or whatever it was Sakura made, feel the alcohol burning down his throat. His eyes searched Sasuke's face for any sign of boredom or maybe discomfort, but Sasuke was too good in keeping a mask on, looking like he was enjoying himself.

When someone called out, "Naruto," from behind, voice slicing through noise that reverberated around the restaurant, Naruto's blood froze.

_That voice._ It took a fraction of a minute before Naruto was able to turn around and face the one person he never expected, or more like wanted, to see so soon. 

"Utakata." His ex-boyfriend stood there, clad in black leather jacket that was thrown over a light blue shirt and tight jeans, dark brown fringes covering half his face. _What the fuck are you doing here?_ was what Naruto meant to say next but his tongue refused to work. 

"Hey, do you have a minute?" Utakata asked in the usual sugary tone he used whenever he was being the sweet-talker shit he was. "I was hoping we could talk."

"There's nothing for us to talk about, Utakata. We're through." Naruto was relieved – kind of – that his voice didn't waver despite the fact that there was this heavy weight swelling inside his chest. 

A calm, earnest streak passed through Utakata's visage and he flashed a smile that made Naruto's stomach revolt in disgust. "Look, baby, I know you're still mad," he started to say, but any further attempt to lure Naruto in was extinguished by Sasuke;s intervention.

"Didn't you hear what Naruto said? Clearly, he meant No, he doesn't want to talk to you."

Utakata regarded Sasuke with narrowed eyes. "And who the fuck might you be?"

"That's none of your business," Sasuke spat back, rising to his feet with a deathly glare fastened on Utakata, stance threatening despite his condition.

"Then shut up and stay out of mine. My business is with Naruto." Utakata's hand closed in on Naruto's arm painfully. "Come on, Naru," he said and yanked at Naruto but they barely made a couple of steps away from the table when an arm breezed past Naruto's head, hand grasping on the collar of Utakata's jacket. Utakata stilled. 

Naruto's head snaps behind him, eyes falling on Sasuke's enraged expression.

"Let him go," was Sasuke's peremptory demand, tone hard and menacing. "Now."

A sinister smirk formed on Utakata's mouth. He spun around with blinding speed, causing Sasuke's hand to drop, then he sputtered, "Fuck off," and shoved Sasuke back. The force made Sasuke topple over, his head almost colliding against the edge of the nearby chair.

Naruto saw red. His clenched fist flew straight to Utakata's right eye and the impact threw Utakata back. "Don't you dare lay a hand on him!' spilled out of Naruto's mouth with venom, every intention of setting Utakata straight leaking out of every word. "You should leave."

"But Naruto!" Utakata set himself upright with little grace, nursing his (hopefully) swollen eye. "I came here to apologize. Please baby, I realized my mistake. I'm sorry. I love you!"

"Just leave, Utakata." Naruto didn't want to hear any more of the shit that Utakata had to say. It was a good thing Sai and Kiba stepped in to usher Utakata outside, otherwise, Naruto would have thrown him out himself, manners be damned. Only when his anger seeped out of his system did he realize they had an audience. Almost half the guests, Sakura, his dad and a handful of his friends had their eyes set on him – no doubt they just stood witness to the riotous spectacle that just took place.

When he saw Sasuke scrambling to his feet, he rushed to Sasuke's aid until he regained balance. "This is embarrassing," Sasuke grumbled in almost a whisper. "I'm too weak. I can't even protect you."

It took all willpower for Naruto not to raise an eyebrow. "Sasuke. I think I'm capable of protecting myself. I'm not a girl, you know."

Soft, dulcet snigger filtered through Sasuke's lips. "Yeah, but I do recall that you do like to bottom," he said with a teasing inflection. 

Horrified, Naruto slapped a hand over Sasuke's mouth. "Teme! Don't say things like that in front of my dad!"

"Oh come on, Naruto," Minato starts, "I'm not exactly a stranger to gay sex and—"

"Please, Dad. Don't say anything incriminating that might prompt Mom to rise from her grave to slap you."

Laughter fell around them like a comfortable blanket that made the ambiance somehow lighter for the rest of the night.

 

*

 

Naruto still wasn't sure if it was wise to jump back into a relationship with Sasuke, but he'd be a fool to deny that he still loved the bastard. They skated around the issue for days until he ripped off the last layers of his reservations and just dove into this reconciliation process or whatever-the-hell Sasuke called it. They've shared kisses but Naruto knew when to draw the line. No groping. It was a personal rule Naruto had laid down, at least until he was certain that the um… the strenuous activity (casual interpretation: sex) that groping might lead to wouldn't have any adverse effect in Sasuke's health. And Sasuke understood. 

Days zoomed past without them realizing that they had fallen into a routine. Then days bled into weeks and weeks into months and before Naruto knew it, Winter Festival was just around the corner. News of Fugaku being home for the holidays reached him immediately. 

Knowing the elder Uchiha, he was pretty sure he would conduct thorough inspection of Sasuke's abode, only because Naruto had been placed in charge of Sasuke's well-being. He doubted the man would even care to check his son's condition. It was Naruto's involvement in this taking-care-of-Sasuke ordeal that would most likely trigger the man to be meticulous, if his blatant disagreement and verbal protests over the whole Naruto-stepping-in-to-the-caregiver-role situation is anything to go by. Fugaku pretty much used colorful words to express his discontent over the phone when he found out that Sasuke had been left in Naruto's care. 

It wasn't that Fugaku disliked him – that he was certain. It was just that Fugaku was the type who could be unreasonably overprotective that he wouldn't entrust his son's safety and health to anyone without proper credentials. Other than that, Fugaku had nothing against Naruto, or so he claimed. Well, thinking back, the man did learn to accept him with open arms years into his relationship with Sasuke. Without reservations whatsoever. And Fugaku was even relatively civil when Naruto came over before he left for his business trip.

"Itachi is also flying in from Iwa before the Winter Festival starts," Sasuke told him over lunch, hours before Fugaku's scheduled arrival. Naruto thanked his lucky stars that Itachi would be around. He was somehow the peacemaker in the family when things get too heated between Sasuke and Fugaku. 

The day before holiday, just after Itachi had settled in, Fugaku came to see Naruto. "I hope you don't have plans for dinner," he said in a surprisingly congenial way. "It will be a pleasure if you and your father can join us. You can invite your pink-haired friend as well."

"Okay," was all Naruto could utter so on the eve of the Winter Festival, he found himself sitting beside Sasuke and right across Itachi wearing an orange dress shirt with a thin black tie and his best black dress pants. Sakura had settled beside Itachi and Naruto's dad sat on the other end of the table opposite Fugaku.

Dinner was peaceful, _thank heavens_ , with the conversation swirling around business where Itachi, Fugaku and Minato did all the talking. 

After Minato and Sakura left, Naruto and Sasuke decided to retire for the night. They were about to leave the den where they had all migrated after dinner when Fugaku called out, "Naruto? Do you mind staying for a while?"

Naruto traded confused looks with Sasuke before nodding in response. "Sure."

When Sasuke was finally out of the room, Fugaku offered Naruto a drink but Naruto declined. He'd had enough champagne for the night. "I'll go straight to the point," Fugaku said, which wasn't entirely surprising because Naruto knew the man wasn't one to beat around the bush. "I know it's inevitable for you and Sasuke to rekindle your relationship."

Naruto parted his lips, not really knowing what to say, but he didn't have to since Fugaku raised a hand to stop him. "I'm not against it, Naruto. I'm just worried that you both might get hurt in the process. I just want to make sure you know what you're getting yourself into. The situation is entirely different than it was three years ago."

"I know, sir," went past Naruto's lips. 

"Take care of him, will you? I have no doubt you will." The expressions that cascaded on Fugaku's face were ones Naruto rarely saw: love, trust, hope, caring. 

"I will, sir."

"Naruto. You used to call me Fugaku. You still can, you know." 

Whatever tension that stood between them shattered that night. And when Naruto returned to their apartment, he almost burst to laughter when he saw an agitated Sasuke pacing around the living room.

"What did he tell you?" was the first thing Sasuke asked.

Naruto slid his arms over Sasuke's shoulder and pressed a kiss on Sasuke's lips. "Relax. We have his blessing."

It would be cliché to say that Naruto saw fireworks behind Sasuke's eyes but that was the only way he could describe Sasuke's reaction. "Good."

The days that came after was pretty much serene until Fugaku had to return to Iron Country and Itachi had to fly back to Iwa. 

 

*

 

Chemotherapy resumed two weeks before spring officially started. It was on a Tuesday schedule when Sasuke surprised him by asking, "Do you want to come in and stay with me during the treatment?" 

"Are you sure?" Naruto hated that hint of skepticism that slipped through his tone. Sasuke didn't seem to notice though, his eyes riveted to the two men standing a few feet away. The way they held each other screamed that they were in a relationship and they appeared to be visiting someone.

"Of course," Sasuke said, sounding rather wistful. Naruto wondered what was going through Sasuke's head. The trance they seemed to have fallen under was only broken when the nurse escorted Sasuke and Naruto into the hospital room. 

Five minutes into the treatment, Naruto started to regret having agreed to be in, what he had just dubbed, the Room Of Torture. It shattered his heart to pieces watching Sasuke's face twist in what was no doubt excruciating pain. If he admired the other man for being strong in character, he admired him a hundredfold for being strong in general. 

Seeing Sasuke's hand tremble urged Naruto to reach out and tangle his fingers with Sasuke's. He held Sasuke throughout the treatment, not letting go. Never letting go.

Naruto had eventually gotten better handling the after-effects of chemotherapy, which made his job easier but in no way less heartrending. 

His hard work in nursing Sasuke back to health paid off when visible evidence started to show. Though still pale as it was his natural complexion, faint rosy hues surfaced on Sasuke's face. His lips no longer looked ashen and he moved around with more vigor than usual. 

It was during the Golden Week, when Cherry Blossoms bloomed across the Uchiha gardens, that Sasuke asked him out to dinner, claiming that he had good news to share. They went to the local barbeque joint since Naruto wasn't all too fond of fancy restaurants. 

"Guess what the doctor told me yesterday?" Sasuke said while filling his plate with pieces of grilled meat. 

"What?"

After swallowing the food he had shoved in his mouth, Sasuke continued. "She says I'm responding well to the treatment so yesterday's session was my last. I'm on remission and may stop receiving chemotherapy for a while." 

Half of what Sasuke said was undoubtedly alien to Naruto's ears. "What does that mean?"

Sasuke took a sip of his water, sighed and said, "It means I don't need to go through chemotherapy anymore. The battle is over, Naruto."

There should have been euphoria or anything close to unadulterated ecstasy swirling in his chest but all Naruto felt was uncertainty. "R-really?"

The smile that had settled on Sasuke's face widened. "Yeah. So I think we should celebrate. Why don't we go on vacation somewhere? I haven't gone near the ocean for years."

Doubt coiled around Naruto's head. Damn, he hated intuition. "Sasuke. Are you sure you're allowed to travel. I mean—"

"Naruto." Sasuke reached out and laid his hand on Naruto's, fingertips contrastingly cold compared to the warmth residing on his palm. "I'm okay now. All those weird herbal stuff you've been feeding me seemed to have helped expedite the effects of the treatments."

He may not have any medical background, but Naruto had this inkling that Sasuke's absurd explanation wasn't remotely possible. But he wasn't about to turn into a pessimistic asshole and deny Sasuke this one thing that seemed to make his boyfriend radiate with bliss.

Shoving all qualms to the back of his mind, Naruto pulled a smile and asked, "What do you have in mind?"

Sasuke's elation was infectious. He practically beamed when saying, "I was thinking of going to Whirlwind Country, to Uzushio. It will be an adventure if we travel by land. It's just seven hours drive from here."

"Okay." Naruto knew he was going to regret this. He can imagine Fugaku's hand around his throat, or Itachi's fist colliding with his jaw. But the glimmer in Sasuke's coal-colored eyes made him disregard his trepidation. "When do we leave?"

 

*+*

 

Sasuke hated lying. Not because he was a bad liar. It was quite the opposite. Sasuke was blessed with a serious demeanor that people easily believed whatever nonsense he spouted. It was that he hated the tense atmosphere in the air whenever he lied, especially if the person he lied to was Naruto. Because Naruto might have been a little dense but Sasuke knew that his boyfriend could sense when Sasuke withheld vital information from him.

It was a good thing that Naruto trusted him enough to accommodate his whims. Even if Sasuke knew that Naruto might still have some lingering doubts on Sasuke's sudden 'recovery'. That was why Sasuke was stuck in a one sided fictional phone conversation with father on the phone – only to convince Naruto that there was nothing wrong with this impromptu vacation to Uzushio.

"Yes, Dad. Tsunade-sensei said it was okay for me to leave. She even said the ocean air might do me some good," Sasuke said, reaching over and placing his hand over the hand that Naruto was using to maneuver the car's stick shift. 

"They have pharmacies there if I need my maintenance." Sasuke met Naruto's gaze on the rearview mirror and gave his boyfriend an exasperated eye roll. A gesture he usually did whenever he talked to his father and hoped that it was natural enough to keep Naruto from getting suspicious.

"Yes, we'll call as soon as we arrive at Uzushio. Bye." Sasuke took a deep breath before he turned to face Naruto. "You'd think I'm five the way he's treating me."

"He's just worried," Naruto replied before shifting gears. "I would be, considering your situation."

"In remission equals clean bill of health," Sasuke explained, mentally crossing his fingers that Naruto wouldn't notice the exaggeration. "So stop worrying, okay? This is going to be a fun vacation and I won't let you ruin it for me."

"Okay." 

"So—" Sasuke started, searching for a good topic to deviate themselves from the current one "—Subaru Forester. Interesting choice there, thought you'd always wanted a sports car."

"Sports cars are flashy and expensive."

"This is expensive as well."

"Expensive but practical. It's roomy as well, good for someone who practically lives in his car for work," Naruto explained as he steered the vehicle to turn right.

"Do you miss your old job?"

"A little. It was tiring but I got to do what I wanted. It was just too bad they had to lay off some people due to recession," Naruto said, giving Sasuke a tight smile. "It's great timing too, coz you know."

Sasuke nodded, of course he knew what Naruto was referring to and he didn't really want to talk about 'that stupid guy'. "Weren't you writing a book when we were in college? I remember someone promised me that I get to read it once it's finished."

"It's not yet done," Naruto said. "Didn't have the time and I kind of lost the will to continue."

_Because of me,_ was what Sasuke wanted to say but settled for, "well I hope I get to read it someday." Just to put an end to the awkward conversation, he added, "So when did Sakura and Sai started going out?" even if he had no interest in knowing the couple's romantic history.

They spent the first two hours of the drive talking. The lively chatter died down only after Sasuke asked if Naruto didn't mind listening to music from Sasuke's ipod. They spent the rest of the drive in silence with only Sasuke's playlist to fill the voide. Naruto had full concentration on the road while Sasuke feigned sleep when he was actually thinking about his conversation with Tsunade before they left.

He was no longer responding to the treatments. That was what they told him. 

Tsunade had high hopes for that last drug that she recommended since it yielded better results than any of the IV drugs they've used for the past three years. But it seemed like the cancer cells became immune to it really quick because the past three sessions' results showed no change at all.

Tsunade suggested another method, one that looked promising but was still in experimental stage. The theory and study behind the new treatment sounded good. But the fact that it was in the experimental stage would not guarantee success. Granted that all treatment methods wouldn't ensure success for all patients but it being new, the success rate would be relatively lower than the tried and tested methods.

And Sasuke was getting sick and tired of it all. He had resigned himself to his fate. He had accepted long ago that he wasn't destined to live beyond the age of twenty five. It was about time that the people around him acknowledged the fact as well. 

Sasuke didn't want to try another treatment method and wait for another two to three months to get the same useless results. He didn't want to waste his remaining strength battling with the chemicals that would be injected in his body. What Sasuke wanted was to focus on making Naruto happy, because Naruto deserved the world. 

He was grateful that Naruto didn't like going to the hospital and that both his father and Itachi were out of town. It made it easier for him to put his plan into action. He was quite confident he could pull this off. He was ready, thinking of the medical kit that he hid in his backpack – where he was sure Naruto wouldn't bother going through.

As long as Sasuke took his shot when the pain starts, he would be good. Sasuke just hoped that when everything blows out of proportion, Naruto would still be able to forgive him.

 

*

 

It was late in the morning when they finally made it to Uzushio and their first stop was what probably the town's shopping district. They needed to ask around and find a place to stay. 

Naruto had gone ahead to a convenience store while Sasuke made a couple of calls to their respective mobile companies and had their numbers temporarily changed. _Ah,_ the influence of being an Uchiha. It made transactions like these a piece of cake. He was just glad he was able to convince Naruto to agree on this scheme. There was no way he could risk being found, not when all he wanted was to spend time with Naruto. Alone.

Sasuke entered the shop where he knew Naruto was and saw his boyfriend near the dairy section talking to a black haired girl, who was obviously flirting with Naruto. Sasuke approached them in haste, the faster he reached Naruto the quicker they could get out of the shop.

"Oh hey, Sasuke," Naruto greeted as he soon as Sasuke stood beside him. Sasuke wanted to pull Naruto closer to him, to stake his claim. But they weren't sure of the town's view on same sex couples so he refrained from doing anything stupid.

"This is Hinata-san. Her friend's dad works for a real estate company. She called them earlier and they got an available place for lease. We could check now if you want," Naruto said, handing over the piece of paper he held to Sasuke. "This is Sasuke he's the friend I was talking about earlier."

"Pleased to meet you, Hinata-san," Sasuke said indolently as he shook her hand.

"Pleased to meet you as well, Sasuke-san," Hinata replied and smiled at him. "I was just telling Naruto I could accompany you there but I'm the only one in the store. My cousin would get here soon, if you—"

"Oh, there's no need for you to do that," Sasuke said, giving her a tight smile. "The directions look pretty clear cut. I'm sure we'll find the place with no problem."

"If you're sure…" Hinata said hesistantly. Sasuke wasn't sure if it was because she was worried that they might get lost or something else.

"Yes we are. Sorry to chat and run but I think we need to get going if we wanted to check other places in case we don't find this one to our liking," Sasuke explained.

"Oh, that's alright. Let me know if you've settled, Naruto," Hinata said as she placed her hand on Naruto's right shoulder and gave it a light squeeze. "It was nice meeting you, Sasuke." 

Sasuke nodded in acknowledgement. _Something else, definitely something else._

 

*

 

It was a single-story house, not too fancy but not too shabby either. From outside, it was easy to tell that whoever was in charge of the architecture couldn't seem to decide whether to stick to traditional style or throw a bit of modern since the whole structure was a mixture of both. 

A pergola stood on one side of the front yard and beyond it -- perhaps to mark the boundary of the property -- were Japanese Maple, blazing bright red-orange that were a horrendous match to Naruto's shirt. The stone path winded from the road all the way to the wooden floored passage that defined the front side of the house. Inside though, past the genkan or entryway, was a touch of modern-inspired interior. Sure there was the traditional shoji, but everything else felt more like a subtle influence of foreign designs.

A girl with long blond hair gathered in a high pony tail was waiting for them at the living room. Sasuke assumed this was Ino even before the girl introduced herself with a bat of her eyelashes that was a dead giveaway sign for flirting. "Hinata called me. I hope you didn't have trouble finding the place?" she said, leaning too close that Sasuke caught a whiff of her cheap perfume.

"Hinata gave us clear directions so we wouldn't get lost," Naruto replied.

"That's good. So let me give you a tour of the house. If you would follow me," Ino said, turning around as she started her sales pitch. 

The tour lasted all of ten minutes but it seemed to take forever to Sasuke, partly because he was tired and just wanted to take a rest and mostly because Ino kept on flirting with him throughout the tour. He would have found it as amusing as Naruto dubbed it if his head wasn't throbbing in pain. 

Sasuke was currently nursing a glass of water in the kitchen while Naruto and Ino were in the living room sorting out the terms of the lease. Sasuke wasn't in the mood to talk to her so he left all the negotiations to Naruto. Naruto teased him about being uncomfortable with Ino's flirting when he begged off from the negotiations.

He didn't try to deny the jest. He would let Naruto think what he wanted. The truth was, seeing Naruto getting comfortable with the idea of staying in Uzushio for more than a few days was making Sasuke feel guilty. 

He knew it was wrong, getting Naruto too deep into the relationship when Sasuke knew he wouldn't be there for Naruto forever. It was selfish of him. But he didn't want to spend the rest of his remaining days cooped up in his apartment or the hospital. If he were to die, he would want to at least experience what it was like to be with Naruto as equals and not as a burden.

_Naruto's happiness, that's my only wish. If Kami would grant me that, I would gladly embrace death._   
.  
.  
.  
 _And we can escape_  
 _And watch the world chasing to find us_  
 _Both of us hidden from view_  
 _If you fade into me_  
 _\-- Fade Into Me, David Cook_  
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	7. Chapter 7

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Cleaning wasn't entirely necessary because the place seemed well-kept. Ino did say the house had a caretaker who came by to clean up every week if the house remained unoccupied. There were barely visible dusts on the tables and cabinets and on the wooden floor. The couch and the beds were covered with some sort of protective blankets and Ino told them she would have the caretaker bring them fresh bed sheets later.

This was going to be their home for a little while, though how long that little while would be, Naruto had no clue. What he couldn't understand was why Sasuke was pretty adamant about not letting anyone else know where they were. Naruto couldn't even call his dad to tell him they've arrived safely. He was lucky his dad wasn't the type to pry and had only told Naruto to be careful when Naruto informed him that he was going away with Sasuke for a bit. 

At noon, they decided to go out for lunch. Naruto was changing into a clean shirt when he heard the soft knock floating from the front door. 

"I'll get it!" Sasuke hollered and Naruto heard the telltale of his footsteps reverberating from the living room. When Naruto ambled out of the bedroom, his eyes landed on Hinata and the paper bag she was cradling.

"Good morning, Naruto." The dark-haired girl shifted her weight from one leg to the other, her pale eyes occasionally darting toward Sasuke who was staring at her like she had committed a capital offense. "I um… I brought you a few things from the store. I-it's a gift. From me and my dad," she stammers, cheeks turning a shade of pink. "To uh—to welcome you here. In Uzushio." 

"Thanks Hinata." Naruto accepted the bag of groceries and invited Hinata to take a seat, glad that he took time to dust the couch earlier. 

"Oh no, thanks," she said, her gaze slanting over to where Sasuke stood. She looked rather apprehensive like maybe she was expecting Sasuke to throw her out any second. "I uh… I have to go back to the store and help my dad."

"Okay." Through the corner of his eye, Naruto could see the way Sasuke stared the poor girl down so Naruto did his best to compensate for his lover's lack of hospitality and offered Hinata an apologetic smile. "Guess we'll see you around."

As soon as Hinata left, Naruto threw a _what-the-fuck_ glare at Sasuke. "What the hell was that all about, teme?"

Sasuke turned to him looking innocent as a puppy. "What do you mean?"

Naruto started counting his head. He was so not going to lose his cool over Sasuke's attitude problem. "I mean with Hinata. Why were you being so rude?"

"I wasn't being rude," Sasuke said offhandedly then grabbed the bag of groceries from Naruto and crossed the short distance to the kitchen. "Let's just hope that girl was _nice_ enough to pack some sandwiches so we won't have to go out for lunch."

The inflection Sasuke used on the word 'nice' didn't go unnoticed. Naruto may be slow, but he wasn't that obtuse not to recognize the green monster rearing its ugly head. He just hoped that Sasuke wouldn't blatantly display his jealousy during their entire stay.

"She did pack some sandwiches," Sasuke called out from the kitchen. "Which one would you like? Katsu or Salmon salad? Oh and look! She placed some instant ramen in here. How sweet of her, don't you think?"

Naruto released a yielding breath. This was going to be a long vacation.

 

*

 

It was Sasuke's idea to explore the town by nightfall and find a place where they could have dinner. It was also Sasuke who mumbled that they should've stayed at the house when they ran into Hinata at the corner of Fuuinjutsu Avenue.

"Hi Hinata!" Naruto bounded over to her with unbridled enthusiasm, hoping that would be enough to distract her from Sasuke's charming presence – or lack of. "Is there a nice place here that serves amazing ramen and maybe the best tomato salad that you can recommend?"

"Oh!" Hinata seemed to perk up, the soft yellow glow of the street light reflecting on her bright eyes. "You can try the Akimichi's Place. They serve a variety of dishes." 

"Thanks." Naruto was about to turn around and face Sasuke but Hinata grabbed the sleeve of his shirt.

"Um." Hinata's hand dropped as if she was burned. "I uh… I was wondering if you and Sasuke would like to hang out with me and… and Ino later? There's a music bar at the next block and Ino's favorite country band is playing tonight so…."

Naruto could feel Sasuke seething behind him. "Believe me, we'd love to. But we're tired from the trip. Sorry."

Disappointment undulated across Hinata's face. "That's Okay. M-maybe next time?"

"Yeah, next time," came out a bit hesitantly and Naruto felt bad for placing _that_ defeated look on her. "Well, good night, Hinata." He dipped his head slightly in a courteous nod before laying his hand between Sasuke's shoulder blades. "C'mon Sasuke. I'm starving."

"Hn," is the only response Sasuke offered.

 

*

 

"Why the fuck should we stay in separate rooms?" Sasuke's eyes practically burned with anger that Naruto had to take a step back in case his boyfriend had the sudden urge to hit him.

"It's only for the first few nights, Sasuke. I mean, until we find out that this town doesn't hold any prejudice against same-sex couples."

"The fuck does it matter!" The walls shuddered when Sasuke's fist collided against a wooden panel. "We're inside. No one's going to see us anyway."

"What if someone decides to snoop around?" It was a stupid excuse, Naruto knew that. But he had to consider all possibilities. "Please, Sasuke. We don't know anyone here. We won't know how people will react if they find out we're a couple."

"Have it your way." Sasuke stomped over to his room and the whole house quaked when he slammed the door shut. 

Naruto stood there, stock still, frustration surging through his veins like melted metal. He wanted to scream, wanted to pull his hair out, not caring how immature it would seem. He marched to his own room and, with clear imitation of what Sasuke did, closed his own door with a deafening bang, not caring if the whole thing came loose from its hinges.

Sleep eluded him, which wasn't a surprise. It was probably past midnight when Naruto heard his door creak and felt someone climbing onto his bed. An arm coiled around his waist and warm breath ghosted over his nape.

"I'm sorry," Sasuke whispered without preamble, not even bothering to ask if Naruto was awake. 

His resolve crumbled and Naruto felt the anger that had taken him hostage for the past hours dissipate. He shifted around to face Sasuke, laying a hand on Sasuke's cheek and tracing the curve of Sasuke's nose with his thumb. He didn't say a word, just pressed a soft kiss on Sasuke's lips, hoping that was enough to let Sasuke know that he'd been forgiven.

*

*

 

They seemed to have found a new home in Uzushio. The weeks rode past them without a hint that they were far from Konoha. They had made a handful of friends – Hinata and Ino and Chouji from the restaurant where they often ate – but they were still wary of revealing the nature of their relationship. There weren't any evident indication that the town was homophobic but there weren't clues that it wasn't either. 

Getting away from their hometown was probably a good decision, if not wise at all. Sasuke had shown incredible improvement health-wise. He was looking more like the Sasuke that Naruto remembered three years ago. 

The most convincing sign that Sasuke was getting back to his old self was when he came out of the bathroom one day without his bandana on and Naruto saw a thick growth of hair covering his usually visible scalp – only a few inches long and spiky, but the dark strands stood out against his normally pale complexion.

Among the changes that Naruto noticed were the nightmares that frequently visited Sasuke at night. Naruto had no choice but to sleep beside Sasuke the fourth time it happened. And when Sasuke seemed to calm down more quickly with Naruto by his side, Naruto threw caution to the wind and acquiesced to the idea of sharing a bed. 

 

*+*

 

"That smells nice." Sasuke commented as he entered the kitchen. Naruto was in front of the stove and was busy stirring something in the pot. "Is that curry?"

"Yup. I wanted to try that recipe that Chouji gave. I hope it turns out alright." Naruto replied and scooped a small amount of sauce into the mini saucer. "Here, have a taste."

Sasuke took the proffered item and took a sip. "Tastes good, spicier than what we're used to though."

"Ha! Just call me chef." Naruto grinned and gave the curry a few stirs before putting out the stove fire. "You hungry?" Naruto asked, moving towards the sink to wash his hands.

"A little and just so you know, chefs don't wear frilly pink aprons." Sasuke gave Naruto a once over, his lips curving into a mischievous smile as his gaze lingered on Naruto's ass. He absolutely loved it when Naruto wore denim shorts because it always showed how perfect his boyfriend's backside was. _I wonder how he'll look like wearing just the apron._

"Stop staring at my ass, pervert, and help me set the table." Naruto said and turned around to glare at Sasuke, depriving Sasuke of such a great view.

"Party pooper." Sasuke complained but took the plates and utensils from Naruto so he could set the table.

"Hey Naruto." Sasuke waited until Naruto had placed the glass on the table before he continued. "Ever thought of gifting me with a naked apron service? I bet you'd look great with just that apron on."

Sasuke laughed at the series of emotions that reflected on Naruto's face: surprise, embarrassment and interest. The third emotion was promising as they were quite adventurous when it came to the sexual aspect of their relationship in the past. It might have been because they were still young then, eager to please and assure each other of their feelings through physical contact.

He was pretty sure that Naruto was contemplating his request based on the sly grins that Naruto was sending his way. Sasuke wondered if they would ever get their previous sexual groove back. But with his current condition, he doubted it. So he just had to be contented with teasing his boyfriend with sexual innuendos.

_Even if it got boring and physically painful at times. Speaking of bored…_

"Chouji told me they're celebrating a local festival here. Want to check the fair later? It'll be a good opportunity to meet the other townsfolk," Sasuke asked, even though he knew that Naruto would always say 'yes' because Naruto lived for festivals. 

Sasuke couldn't count the number of times that Konoha celebrated their local festivals with much fanfare while growing up. Naruto loved watching the fireworks and Sasuke loved watching Naruto's face light up in delight while watching it. _Maybe I'll get to see that again. I have to ask Chouji where's the best place to watch._

"What a coincidence. I ran into Ino yesterday and she asked if we want to join her and Hinata," Naruto said while scooping some curry onto Sasuke's plate. "Should I tell them that we're going?"

Sasuke was not looking forward to spending time with the aforementioned women because they both couldn't take a hint, especially Hinata. But Naruto was beaming at him, obviously looking forward to the event that Sasuke could not help but nod his acquiescence. Even if he didn't want to.

 

*

 

Sasuke knew this was a bad idea. The moment they met up with Ino and Hinata, Sasuke knew the night would not bode well for him. Both women were wearing pretty kimonos and had Sasuke been interested in dating women, he would have been alright with Ino. Sasuke had always been partial to blonds anyway.

Unfortunately for Ino though, Sasuke's heart was forever anchored in Naruto and he didn't think he could ever have eyes for anyone else. So here was Sasuke, looking forward to his and Naruto's first official festival date after getting back together and these two women were annoying the hell out of him.

They had been paired off as soon as they entered the fair grounds. Ino had dragged Sasuke from one booth to another while Hinata and Naruto followed them at a more sedate pace. Ino insisted that Naruto and he win some prizes for her and Hinata. Sasuke had always thought of Ino as cunning, and he was just proven right. Ino must have noticed how Sasuke and Naruto loved to compete with each other and the sly woman was using it to her and Hinata's advantage.

Anyone who didn't know them would think they were on a double date. He wouldn't pretend that he did not notice the looks of envy and stares that they've been getting since they arrived. Hinata and Ino, he found out earlier, were two of the prettiest women in town and he'd always known how good looking he and Naruto were. It was just a pity that most of them probably tagged him with the wrong blond.

It also didn't help that their hair coloring were complete contrasts with each other. They were like day and night, as Sakura used to say. Or Itachi would often refer to them as the sun and moon.

"That's a great idea! Don't you think so, Sasuke?"

Sasuke blinked and turned his attention to Naruto, silently asking for help. He had been lost in his own thoughts that he didn't have the slightest idea what the fuck Naruto was talking about. Naruto rolled his eyes in exasperation. "Ino's asking if you want to try the fire fly watching boat ride. They say it's one of the highlights of the festival. We can rent one boat for the four of us."

 _That would be romantic._ Sasuke thought as he pictured how Naruto's face would light up in delight, because Naruto was easily pleased like that. _If only these two would leave us alone._ "I'll pass, I'm a little tired and I heard that the lines for that ride is quite long. I think I'll just stay here and wait for the fireworks event to start."

"Oh, that's too bad. Why don't I stay here with Sasuke while Naruto and Hinata take the ride together?" Ino suggested, winking at Hinata, causing the other woman to blush.

If looks could kill, Ino would have dropped dead a million times over. "You could join them. I'm good on my own, I'll just drop by Chouji's booth and stay there. He did say he wanted me to taste this new dish he created." Sasuke said, hoping that the offer of free food would dissuade Naruto from going through the romantic boat ride with Hinata.

Sasuke helplessly watched Naruto head over to the opposite direction with Hinata, his heart sinking somewhere in the pit of his stomach. _Damn these girls!_ He was on the verge of stalking after the pair and yank Naruto back to the parking lot with him so they could drive back home where they would have their much needed privacy.

"Sasuke-kun?" Ino's irritating voice grated through his ears. "Look! There's a goldfish scooping booth over there, can we try that?" Her face tilted up at Sasuke, her long dark blond lashes fluttering. "Pretty please?"

 _No,_ was at the tip of Sasuke's tongue but anything he said probably wouldn't have mattered because Ino had an iron grip around his arm and was leading him to where a round pool sat and children less than half his age holding poi were gathered around it.

That wasn't the end of his humiliating experience though. Ino had dragged him from one game booth to another and it was only when Sasuke finally put his foot down and reminded Ino that he was exhausted did Ino finally ease up. "I wonder how Naruto and Hinata are doing," she said, her head on Sasuke's shoulder – _What the fuck?_ "Come on, Sasuke. Let's go to my mom's booth. She had always wanted to meet you."

Expressing any form of protest would be futile so Sasuke allowed Ino to guide him all the way to the area where the food stalls were. Maybe he could drop by at Chouji's after all. They stopped at a booth where a variety of pies were spread over a table covered in red and white checkered cloth. Sasuke wasn't too fond of sweets but he bet Naruto would love to have some of these.

An older woman with dark brown hair gathered in a bun held out her hand to Sasuke after Ino had made the casual introductions. Sasuke couldn't help but wonder from whom Ino inherited the blond trait, or if Ino was a natural at all.

The visit was short. Ino had hastily announced they were to visit Chouji's booth after. "Why don't I pack a couple of pies for you, Sasuke," the older woman told him with a warm smile gracing her lips.  
"Sure. How much would that be?" Sasuke was about to pull out his wallet but the woman told him she was giving it for free since he was Ino's friend. The inflection she used on the word 'friend' seemed to weigh heavy with implications that Sasuke dare not analyze.

It was when Ino's mother was handing the paper bag that Sasuke felt it - the familiar sensation of losing his center. He grabbed onto the nearest thing he could hold on, who happened to be Ino, to help him regain his balance.

"Sasuke? Are you alright?" Ino asked as she helped him settle on the nearest chair.

"Yes, just… Naruto, find him. Please."

 

*

 

Sasuke woke up with a start, gasping for air. His body shivered at the memory of the dream. He was sweating. He knew it was just a dream but it seemed so real. He could still smell the dank stench of the earth that slowly tried to pull him in. Sasuke inhaled deeply, trying to calm himself.

Sasuke felt the bed dip as someone joined him and enveloped him in their arms. Sasuke inhaled deeply, letting the familiar scent and warmth of Naruto's body comfort him.

"Feeling better?"

"Yeah." Sasuke replied, snuggling closer and smiling when he felt Naruto held on to him tighter.

"Don't scare me like that again. I thought…" Naruto said, his voice cracking. "Maybe we should go back home. Tsunade—"

Sasuke cut Naruto off with a kiss. "It was nothing. I was just tired from all those games Ino made me play. I'm alright. No need to panic, okay?"

"But—"

"Shh. I'm fine. You're all the cure I need, so just hold me, please."  
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 _Let go, fall in_  
 _Drown in the moment with me_  
 _Sinking 'til we start to break_  
 _\-- Fade Into Me, David Cook_  
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	8. Chapter 8

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The distant sound of the sea water crashing against the elevated shore woke him up like it did every morning. But what made Naruto leap out of bed was the lack of warmth beside him. Panic surged through him in waves when he couldn't find Sasuke anywhere in the house. 

_Calm down,_ he told himself. Sasuke was no longer as weak as he was when they left Konoha. Leaving the house on his own wouldn't pose any problem now, would it?

Hearing the ocean prompted Naruto to rush outside, his instincts telling him where he may find Sasuke. The dread that had been pooling in his gut evaporated when he saw the dark hair sticking up to the back of Sasuke's head. 

Slowing down to his normal stride, Naruto approached with little stealth. Sasuke was slumped on the ground, leaning back on his arms and he had his legs stretched before him. 

"There you are," Naruto said, in case his heavy footsteps muffled by the grass beneath the soles of his sneakers weren't enough to announce his presence.

His breath hitched when Sasuke turned his face up at him, framed with a peaceful aura that Naruto hadn't seen since his return. Then Sasuke's lips turned up into a breathtaking smile that could make any woman – or man – swoon. "Hey you. Come join me," he said, patting the space beside him.

"You look like you're having fun here." Naruto lowered himself next to Sasuke and followed Sasuke's gaze. They watched the surface of the water rise and fall for a while. 

Then Sasuke spoke. "Did you know? That the ocean speaks to us through the waves, telling us the secret of the world." 

A short, shrill breath expressing disbelief escaped through Naruto's nose. "Who said that? Shakespeare?"

Sasuke's lips thinned. "No, baka! _I_ said that." His gaze slid back to the vast body of water that stretched out below the cliff. "I've been up for an hour listening to the ocean and wondering what if—" The dark pair of eyes were on Naruto once more, pinning him with a sharp look as if daring him to vomit a caustic remark. "Forget it."

"What? I want to hear it." Naruto nudged Sasuke with his shoulder, wheedling the man to continue. 

"I said, forget it."

"Awww." A gentle breeze swirled around them like an invisible hand that guided Naruto's head to rest on Sasuke's shoulder. "You sound exactly like you did when we were kids, in Junior High, remember? You tend to be the poetic one ever since our teacher – was it Suzume-sensei? – well, she had us read the works of that American or English or whatever poet. What was his name?"

"Robert Frost," Sasuke uttered in almost a whisper then the wind seemed to carry the silence onto their laps. 

Naruto felt comfortable where he was, head buried in the crook of Sasuke's neck with Sasuke's arm coiled around his shoulders. Sasuke had always been his source of comfort, his personal security blanket, and he was pretty sure he was the same to Sasuke. 

They grew up together, had been stuck to each other's hip since they were little, or so his dad claimed. Their mothers were supposedly best friends. Sasuke's mom, Mikoto, did talk a lot about Naruto's mom as far as Naruto could remember. She'd often offer to look after him whenever his dad would be busy at the café and his job as the Town Mayor at that time 

Naruto had no recollection of his mother, only knew of her from the photos his dad kept around the house. She died of childbirth and Naruto still carried a pinch of guilt for being the cause of his mother's death even though his dad had pointed out countless times that it wasn't his fault in any way. 

It was when he was seven and Sasuke just turned eight when Mikoto fell seriously ill. Naruto couldn't recall the details. He was young then, still a child. But he remembered bits and pieces of conversation he heard while at the Uchiha's place: about a lump the doctor found in her breast, about malignancy although he had no clue what the word meant back then, about her having less than a year left to live.

Itachi was old enough then – thirteen – and he knew exactly what was going on. He was the one who sat with Naruto and Sasuke and told them in the simplest way possible how sick their mother was. At the turn of the spring almost a year later, Mikoto left them. 

Sasuke was broken, lost and crestfallen. Naruto had to do a bit of growing up so he could be Sasuke's rock. It was that ill-fated incident that drew them closer, their bond became stronger, like two souls fused to function as one.

"Lost in your own world again, huh?" Sasuke's voice disrupted Naruto's pensive travel down memory lane.

"Just thinking about everything we've been through," he said, tilting his head so he can press his lips against Sasuke's jaw. He wished they could be like this – worry-free and relaxed in each other's arms – forever.

 

*

 

The steady beat of the drums floated from the living room while Naruto shook his hips in time with the rhythm. He was in the process of spreading rice over the nori when Sasuke meandered into the kitchen with only a towel around his waist. Beads of water dripped from Sasuke's midnight dark hair and slid slowly down his bare chest. It took all will for Naruto to tear his eyes away from the tempting sight and back to the sushi in progress. 

His hands couldn't keep still when he was laying pieces of cucumber, carrots and crab sticks over the rice and he was about to roll the bamboo mat when Sasuke's warm body pressed against his back. His traitorous cock twitched in response when Sasuke's hands slid under his shirt and traveled all the way up his chest. 

"Sasuke, love." Naruto held back a groan when his nipple was trapped between Sasuke's naughty fingers. "How can I prepare lunch when you're distracting me?"

"Hmm…." Sasuke's mouth began to assault Naruto's neck – nipping and licking and sucking on a spot along the curve leading to his shoulder. 

Naruto felt all control leave him, every inch of his body responding to Sasuke's fervent touches. "You're such an ass, you know," he said with little-to-no venom. 

It was with less reluctance that he abandoned the sushi and let Sasuke haul him to their bedroom. Once inside their safe haven, Sasuke's mouth claimed Naruto's with the hunger of someone who'd been sexually deprived for years. 

Any control he had preserved, any rational thought that this was where he should draw the line crumbled when Sasuke's tongue prodded his mouth – claiming, tasting, devouring. His remaining strength to keep himself upright left him when Sasuke began sucking on his tongue, making his whole body shudder, cock jerking against the confines of his denim shorts. 

_To hell with right and wrong,_ the voice inside Naruto's head echoed. The 'no sex' agreement wasn't exactly an ironclad rule anyway. It was only there to make sure Sasuke didn't do more than his body could handle.

One of Sasuke's hands was splayed across Naruto's back, under his shirt, while the other glided down his side, leaving a burning trail that made Naruto hot and wanton. 

Then Sasuke practically tore Naruto's shirt off and his fingers deftly undid the button and zipper of Naruto's shorts, hand sliding inside Naruto's boxers and curling around his erection. A sharp intake of breath went past Naruto's lips when Sasuke began stroking – slow and languid then fast and tight – and stroking, coaxing lascivious sounds to spiral through Naruto's throat. 

"Sasuke," slipped past his parted lips like a strangled breath when Sasuke's mouth began to assault his neck, tongue licking up a stripe all the way to the sensitive spot behind his ears. Then one of Sasuke's hands slid down his back and cupped his butt cheek, squeezing at the same time Sasuke began to suck a mark just above Naruto's clavicle.

This was as far as they've gone that one night after the Halloween party. This was where the sane part of him should put a stop to it, but that sane part was away on vacation somewhere and Naruto was left a moaning mess, pleading, begging, "Sasuke, Sasuke, please," though for what, he had no clue. All he knew was he wanted more. 

"Naruto." His name was enunciated with a low growl vibrating from Sasuke's diaphragm. "I won't be able to stop now," he said. Like hell Naruto would want him to.

As soon as they both got rid of every piece of clothing, they fell back right at the center of the bed, slick, naked bodies sinuously rubbing against each other, creating delicious friction that made Naruto's skin sing, craving for more, _more, more._ Then Sasuke moved down south, mapping every inch, every curve and every dip of Naruto's torso with his talented mouth, his tongue swirling around Naruto's nipple, nipping the hardened nub between his teeth before drifting over to the other.

Naruto's hips snapped up, back arching, toes curling against the sheets when Sasuke practically swallowed his throbbing, stupid, traitorous, needy cock – tasting him, sucking and licking at the right places. Any chance Naruto's brain would work was gone now, and his fingers tangled with soft, surprisingly longer locks, urging Sasuke to suck harder and bob his head faster.

Then that wicked, wicked tongue slid further down, lapped at his balls and, with what felt like Sasuke's thumb pushing his butt cheeks apart, traced a line all the way to the puckered muscle that hid along the crack between his ass, the tip poking through the surface. An animalistic noise rose from Sasuke while he greedily ate Naruto like it was his mission for life. 

So lost in that little place called pleasure land, Naruto hardly noticed Sasuke paused in his ministration until he heard the telltale snap of a bottle and wasn't quite prepared when he felt the cool tip of lubricated finger against his private area. 

It had been so long… so long since Naruto felt like this. Sex with… with others was entirely different, less intense than with Sasuke. And here he was, his legs spread, Sasuke prodding, pushing into him, preparing him, eyes clouded, lips parted, a hungry look forming on Sasuke's handsome face.

He felt Sasuke's wrist twist here and there, three fingers pumping into him with a purpose. White, hot burst of thrill exploded within him at the light pressure against his special spot and Naruto couldn't help but mewl lewdly. 

"Want you, Sasuke, inside me, now," poured out of Naruto's mouth with acute desperation that was foreign to his own ears. 

Sasuke responded with a grunt and a painful nibble on Naruto's earlobe and was soon slipping a condom on his thick, delicious-looking cock. 

Naruto hooked his forearms around the back of his knee, pulled his thighs closer to his chest and waited, waited until Sasuke's cock slid inside him, achingly slow at first, pausing every now and them. "You okay?" Sasuke asked, his ebony fringe plastered against sweaty forehead. 

With stinted breath, Naruto said, "Yeah," and nodded. He must have told Sasuke to move, he wasn't sure. His entire consciousness – or what was left of it – was focused on one thing: Sasuke's cock inside him. His world tilted a bit when Sasuke began to thrust and Naruto tried to push the discomfort away. 

"Shit, Naruto, you're so tight." Sasuke's hips rocked against him – moved with him – and soon they found the right pace, the perfect rhythm that had them practically dancing on the mattress. Sasuke's cock slid in and out of him, filling him and _oh, oh, oh fuck,_ it felt so incredibly good, so good that his blood rushed to one focal point and the pressure that coiled in his groin area grew tighter. Naruto released his legs and let them fall beside Sasuke's, his hand finding purchase on Sasuke's biceps instead.

Sasuke's mouth slammed against his – the kiss possessive, needy. Then Sasuke's hips snapped harder, faster, until Naruto couldn't hold it in any longer. He felt long fingers curl around his erection before he could grab himself and started pumping, spurring him to climax. Every nerve in his body was on fire, every pore buzzing. And Naruto was soon spurting his release over his stomach, his chest, on Sasuke's hand.

The way Sasuke's thrust became more desperate was clue enough that he was close. With a final plunge inside Naruto, Sasuke's head was thrown back, a groan floating out of his parted lips.

It was as if time stilled and they were both held in limbo, oscillating like a feather in the air. Sasuke collapsed on top of him, breaking that divine state of rapture, lips traveling along Naruto's jaw, seeking Naruto's mouth. 

With their share spit and sweat and _erm_ … cum, Naruto felt like a piece of him had been pushed back in place and he was finally whole again. This was what he needed after all.

 

*+*

 

 _So this is what living feels like._ Sasuke thought as he pulled Naruto's body closer to him. They were still in bed, arms around each other as they basked in the afterglow of their lovemaking. Sasuke knew that the logical thing to do was to clean up because Naruto must be feeling gross by now but his arms simply refused to move. 

Sasuke wasn't ready to let go of Naruto yet, not when he finally, officially have Naruto in his arms. He was afraid that if he did let go, Naruto would slip through his fingers and Sasuke wouldn't be able to take him back. 

It was surreal and Sasuke didn't have the slightest idea how an act they usually took for granted when they were younger could make him feel more alive than he did before. Sasuke didn’t want to lose this feeling. He had been dead since Naruto left his side and he didn't want to go back to that place. 

_Kami, forgive me. But I'm not ready to leave him. Not yet._ Sasuke silently begged, his arms pulling Naruto closer to him once again. 

"What are you thinking?" Naruto asked, moving so that he was looking directly at Sasuke but remaining within the circle of Sasuke's arms.

Sasuke planted a soft kiss on Naruto's forehead and whispered, "I love you. I'll do anything for you. It has always been you so please, I beg you… don't get tired of me."

"Never, I would never get tired of you." Naruto said, tracing the outline of Sasuke's lips with his hand. "You can try to push me away but I'll always, always come back to you."

"Don’t listen to me if I push you away again, okay?"

"When did I ever listen to what you say?" Naruto teased. "I love you, you're the only one for me so don't you forget that."

"I won't." Sasuke promised, happy that they have finally reaffirmed their feeling for each other.

"Hey Sasuke you said you'd do anything for me, yeah?" Naruto asked, his fingers playfully tracing non-existent circles on Sasuke's chest.

"Anything."

"Would you run outside naked declaring your love for me if I ask you to?" Naruto asked, blue eyes twinkling in mischief.

Sasuke didn't verbally reply. He had always been a man of action, so he responded in the way he knew best, by bolting out of bed and running outside towards the cliff several yards behind their house to do exactly what Naruto asked of him.

Sasuke took a deep breath and didn't give a shit that he was naked, didn't heed Naruto's calls for him to return to the house, what was important was for him to fulfill Naruto's request. "Listen up everyone!" Sasuke yelled in the loudest voice he could. "I, Sasuke Uchiha would like everyone to know that I am irrevocably, insanely, madly in love with Naruto Uzumaki! And there is nothing and I mean nothing in this world that I would not do for him! I love you, Naruto Uzumaki!"

"Damn it, Sasuke! Okay, okay I get it! For the love of Kami, cover yourself! The neighbors can see you!" Naruto hollered behind him. 

Sasuke turned around to see Naruto running towards him clad in orange boxers and holding a blanket. And their two elderly neighbor looking at him with matching horrified expressions. Sasuke bowed his head in embarrassment and accepted the blanket that Naruto thrust towards him and covered himself. He made a big show of waving at his neighbors before finally following Naruto back to the house.

He just hoped those two couples weren't tattletales. What the fuck was he thinking doing a stunt like that? _Oh._ Of course. Love could make him stupid.

 

*

 

"Is it really necessary for us to attend?" Sasuke asked while checking his reflection on the Subaru's side mirror. They were outside the Hyuuga compound, on their way to a dinner invitation because Naruto didn't know how to reject invitations. 

"Of course, we accepted the invitation. It's just proper to be there." Naruto replied and handed the bottle of champagne they bought earlier to Sasuke. 

"You accepted, I didn't." Sasuke muttered under his breath as they walked towards the front door. Naruto sent Sasuke a glare, a warning for him to be on his best behavior, before Naruto rang the bell. 

They didn't have to wait for long as the door opened after a few seconds and they were greeted by a man with long black hair and pale lilac eyes.

"Uh, hi I'm Naruto Uzumaki and this is my friend, Sasuke Uchiha. Is Hinata home?" Naruto introduced himself and Sasuke.

"Neji Hyuuga. Hinata's cousin." The other man said and shook Naruto and Sasuke's hands. "They're waiting in the dining room, if you could please follow me."

 

*

 

Dinner was uneventful. The food was surprisingly tasty. It seemed like Hinata's mother was quite the cook and Sasuke couldn't help but accept the seconds that was offered to him. The conversation revolved around the previous festival and the upcoming holidays. It was cozy and Sasuke found himself enjoying his discussion about art with Hinata's father.

The only downside was that Sasuke had to endure watching Hinata shamelessly flirt with his boyfriend. It was obvious that Hinata deliberately placed Naruto beside her. Hinata kept on offering Naruto dishes and putting them in Naruto's plate. It was quite annoying to watch Hinata act like she was Naruto's girlfriend. 

Another thing that threw him off was the amused smiles and looks that Neji kept shooting his way whenever Hinata flirted with Naruto. There was just something disconcerting about those pale eyes looking at him in amusement. Sasuke wanted so much to leave but good manners dictated that they see the whole dinner through. 

Besides Naruto would skin him alive if he threw a tantrum, so Sasuke did his best to ignore them.

Although Naruto couldn't blame him if he accidentally knocked over Naruto's wineglass when Hinata tried to spoon feed Naruto. Sasuke prided himself for his patience but there was a limit to what he would be willing to endure. 

They were in the family room with Hinata and Neji, enjoying pastries and after dinner tea when Sasuke dropped his teacup. His eyes widened in surprise when he felt his right hand go numb. _Kami, no, no, no!_ Sasuke repeated in his head as he flexed his right hand over and over until he felt the sensation return.

"Are you alright, Sasuke?" Hinata asked in concern.

"Yes, yes, I'm sorry about the mess. My palms get clammy sometimes." Sasuke explained.

"Don't worry about it." Hinata assured him and stood up to prepare another cup of tea for Sasuke. However, Naruto stood up as well and announced that it was time for them to go home because Sasuke was tired.

Sasuke wanted to argue that he wasn't tired but one look at Naruto's worried face made Sasuke stop. He wanted Naruto to have fun but with the way Naruto was at the moment meant that Naruto would probably spend the rest of the evening worrying about Sasuke.

Sasuke was not feeling well anyway, the panic the numbness he felt earlier had triggered his migraine. It would be best that they return home, because Sasuke had a gnawing suspicion that the one shot of morphine he had before dinner would not be enough.

 

*

 

The digits read '12:45' on their alarm clock when Sasuke woke up because his left leg and head were throbbing in pain. He needed to get to the bathroom for his painkillers but he was having a hard time moving due to the pain. He also fell asleep with his arms around Naruto and he really, really didn't want to rouse his lover. 

Sasuke pulled away from his boyfriend as silently and carefully as he could manage. Thank Kami that his boyfriend was such a heavy sleeper. He half dragged and half fumbled his way to the bathroom. He didn't bother turning the lights on for fear that it might yank Naruto from slumber and then find him injecting himself with painkillers.

It took him sometime before he could find his medical kit. Sasuke couldn't remember how he was able to insert the needle in his arm when his hands were shaking. He heaved a big sigh of relief when he felt the immediate respite from pain that the drug offered.

He was already cleaning up when Naruto knocked and called out his name. Sasuke almost dropped his medical kit in his haste to hide it from Naruto, only to remember that the door was closed and that he had locked it.

"Are you alright?" Naruto asked from the other side of the door.

Sasuke took three deep breathes to calm himself before he answered, hoping that his voice didn't show how nervous he was. "I'm okay. I think my stomach didn't agree with the mussels we ate earlier."

"Do you need help?"

"I'm good. Go back to bed, Naruto. I'll be there in a few, okay?" 

Sasuke heard Naruto mutter 'okay' then he made a thorough inspection of the bathroom once more, making sure that he didn't leave anything that would make Naruto suspicious before finally stepping out to join his lover in bed.  
.  
.  
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 _Fade into me, fade into you_  
 _The two of us melting together_  
 _Until we become something new_  
 _\-- Fade Into Me, David Cook_  
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	9. Chapter 9

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It was shit trying to park his Subaru Forester in such a tight space between a car and a small delivery van. Naruto was tempted to leave it in the middle of the street but knew it would be unwise. How can there be so many cars parked along the nondescript shopping district of a town more rural than Konoha? Must be because of the local summer thing whatever Ino was talking about. 

A family of four emerged from the Hyuuga's Stop-n-Shop and Naruto watched the two children horseplay for a while before marching into the small convenience store. A mellifluous chime greeted him when he pushed the door open and he almost froze in place when he saw Neji behind the counter. 

For some reason he had yet to discover, he felt ill at ease around the man. Neji's gaze seemed to pierce right through him, unraveling his deepest, darkest secrets. The notion may be absurd but somehow, he had a hunch that Neji knew about him and Sasuke.

"Hey Neji. Hinata around?" was Naruto's weak attempt to break the unnerving ice. 

There was no immediate reaction from the other man, pale lilac eyes fixed on Naruto as if Neji was trying to read his mind. "She's in the storage room," he said at last. "She'll be out soon."

Naruto pulled out a piece of paper from his back pocket and pretended to be engrossed with his grocery list just to have an excuse not to look at Neji. He grabbed a basket from the stack by the counter, gave Neji a rather forced smile and made a beeline to the aisle that held the cereals. 

Only when he heard Hinata's voice did Naruto step around the tallest shelf with a nearly filled basket. With a relaxed smile in place, he said, "Hey Hinata," in an upbeat tone. 

The fleeting glance that Hinata and Neji shared didn't go unnoticed but Naruto chose to brush it off like usual. The smile he wore grew tight when Neji turned to him and muttered, "If you'd excuse me," before disappearing in the back room. 

"Where's Sasuke?" Hinata asked, effectively slicing through the thick tension that Neji left in his wake. 

"At home." Naruto lifted the basket onto the counter where Hinata had slipped behind and he took note of how she couldn't seem to meet his eyes. "He's doing most of the cooking. Which reminds me…" The deliberate pause got the desired effect and Hinata peeled her gaze away from the cream of mushroom can she held against the scanner and stared at Naruto in anticipation. "I hope you hadn't forgotten about the dinner at our place tonight."

Hinata blinked and a hint of recollection glimmered on her pretty face. "Oh. Of course not. Neji and I are bringing dessert. The pie is cooling on the rack as we speak." 

"Awesome!" 

Another emotion flickered across Hinata's eyes and the way she withdrew showed a bit of hesitation on her part. Before Naruto could prompt her to speak or maybe ask if there was something wrong, Hinata blurted, "There's something I've been meaning to ask you, Naruto-kun. But… b-but…."

The way Hinata recoiled made her look like she had just swallowed her tongue. It was maddening to watch her bring the tips of her index fingers together and started fidgeting. "What is it?" Naruto coaxed.

She peered up through her thick, dark eyelashes. "I was just curious. A-about you and Sasuke. Actually, I probably wouldn't have noticed if Neji nii-san hadn't brought it to my attention. S-so I was wondering if you guys are um … in a relationship?"

Naruto felt like he just hit a brick wall, with nowhere to turn, no escape. But then again, wasn't this what the planned dinner was all about?

"Yeah," was his perfunctory response and if he were to interpret Hinata's reaction, Naruto supposed she was partly disappointed and partly satisfied with the answer. "Actually, we plan to tell everyone—well, not everyone, but at least you guys that we consider our friends—tonight, during dinner."

A genuine-looking smile appeared along Hinata's lips. "I'm not going to tell anyone, I promise. I'll leave that up to you. You could've… you could have told me from the start though."

That was when guilt struck Naruto ten-fold and his hand flew straight to the back of his neck, rubbing his nape in the usual manner whenever he felt uneasy. "Sorry. We just didn't know how people here will react, you know."

"Naruto." The unfamiliar conviction in Hinata's voice urged Naruto to meet her eyes. "Most of the citizens here are open-minded. You and Sasuke should've realized that by now. Haven't you met Kotetsu and Izumo at the auto shop?"

"We kinda did." Naruto had to bring his car to the couple's shop when it started acting out a week before. It was then he and Sasuke began considering to unveil their secret.

The shrill sound filtering from his pocket nearly startled him. Naruto fished out his phone, read Sasuke's text message that simply told him to hurry _the fuck_ up then pulled his eyes back to Hinata. "I have to get back home. Just don't forget. Dinner's at eight."

"I-is it okay for Neji to bring a guest? His girlfriend, actually?" she asked, face turning to a shade of bashful pink.

"Of course." Naruto bared his teeth when he grinned. "The more the merrier." 

 

*

 

Maybe it was his instincts kicking in, some fucked-up intuition that was strongest when it came to Sasuke. Could be paranoia or… or maybe he was just overreacting. But _damn it,_ the signs were too overt to be ignored like a red flag being brandished before his eyes, warning him that something was definitely off with Sasuke.

Apart from losing his balance thrice, Sasuke had practically slammed against the wall on his way inside the bathroom. What made the worry brewing in Naruto's head worse was the prominent slur that rolled off of Sasuke's tongue when he tried to explain how the "damn wall was in the way," which made Naruto's eyebrow shoot up his forehead. 

While Sasuke took a shower, Naruto made a thorough inspection of the kitchen, the living room, _hell_ even their bedroom for any signs of liquor that Sasuke might have indulged on while Naruto was out. There was none. Besides, there wasn't any lingering taste of alcohol in Sasuke's mouth when he kissed Naruto earlier with uncharacteristic fervor.

The foreboding feeling didn't leave Naruto, making him _fucking_ restless with the thought that something was wrong with his lover gnawing at his hindbrain. 

Sasuke stumbled into the kitchen a while later, muttering something unintelligible that Naruto didn't pay too much heed since he was engrossed with the chicken udon he had simmering in the pot. But then he became disconcertingly aware of Sasuke rummaging inside the refrigerator like he's in search of a passage to another dimension or something.

"What are you looking for, Sasuke?" Naruto asked, trying to appear casual though traces of concern may have leaked out of his tone. 

"Nothing," was Sasuke's cursory reaction, pulling out a pitcher in the process. "Just… just water." It was hard to ignore how Sasuke's hand shook with the way the clear liquid rippled inside the transparent glass container. 

The damn quivering was much more palpable when Sasuke reached inside a cabinet to grab a glass. The fragile thing would've ended up in shards if it weren't for Naruto's quick reflexes, his hand wrapping around glass before it completely slithered out of Sasuke's grip. 

Naruto watched his lover struggle to pour himself water only to have a quarter of the pitcher's content spilling onto the granite counter. 

"What's happening to you, Sasuke?" skipped out of Naruto's mouth before he could think twice.

"Nothing." Sasuke's riposte was clipped and unmistakably dismissive.

"But Sasuke, your hands are—"

"Will you fucking quit it, usuratonkachi?" Sasuke flung the glass across the kitchen, crisp, piercing noise reverberating around the small space when it made contact with the concrete wall. "I'm fine. Just focus on the fucking dinner and leave me the hell alone!"

It was just fortunate that the music Sasuke had playing from the living room was loud enough to drown his raised voice, else Ino would've heard. Or maybe she did but chose to keep her nose out of their business. 

There was little time to ponder on Sasuke's behavior since other dinner guests started arriving soon and Naruto had to don a carefree mask so he could play the good host. 

Naruto vaguely noticed Sasuke disappear in the bathroom when Hinata and Neji arrived with a girl Naruto hadn't met before – pretty with her dark hair gathered in Chinese-style buns on each side of her head, dark brown eyes reflecting warmth and affability. 

"This is Tenten," Neji said, his arm circling over her shoulders. "She's my girlfriend."

When Sasuke joined them all at the dinner table, he was cool, calm and eerily collected to begin with. It was past the main dish when Naruto couldn't help but imagine Sasuke having a switch that simply turned him from quiet and indifferent to bubbly and uncouth.

The champagne that Neji brought was probably at fault. Naruto just needed something or someone to pin the blame on because the words flooding out of Sasuke's mouth made him want to curl under the table and maybe disappear until summer the next year.

"I bet you're not man enough to satisfy Tenten here," Sasuke had told Neji, his pale hand cupping Neji's shoulder. The way Neji's pristine jacket wrinkled only suggested how much pressure Sasuke had in his grip. "I bet you don't even have the size to do the job."

Naruto hoped Neji wouldn't contest, if he was the gentleman Naruto saw him. But Neji's right eye twitched then he met Sasuke's mocking gaze head on and said, "If you are referring to dick size then I beg to differ. I have a hunch that yours couldn't even compare." 

One corner of Sasuke's mouth lifted, a crooked smile gracing his impeccably handsome face. "Why don't you ask Naruto how big mine is?" Then his sable eyes skipped to Hinata. "Or wouldn't you, Hinata, want to know how big Naruto's dick is?"

Hinata's jaw dropped, face turning a deep scarlet. "I uh… I uh…."

Something sinister crossed Sasuke's face. "Tell me, Hinata. Would you like to have sex with my Naruto?"

Naruto bolted out of his seat, chair springing backward. "That's enough, Sasuke!" 

"I think he's drunk," someone said – Chouji probably, Naruto wasn't sure. He was keen in burning holes on Sasuke's face that he dared not remove his gaze from his apparently demented lover.

Someone even muttered, "But he's only had one glass of champagne."

Sasuke leered at him and said, "What's the matter, Naruto? I was only trying to break the ice." His usually impassive and poised boyfriend staggered up to his feet and rounded past Ino and Chouji's chairs. Then he pressed up against Naruto, purposely rubbing his groin against Naruto's thigh. "Or would you prefer jumping right into the part where we tell them that we're a couple and we fuck like rabbits every night?"

"Sasuke, please." Naruto's fingers curled on the sleeves of Sasuke's teal dress shirt, trying to create a considerable gap between them. He would've let it drop, wouldn't have dared lift a hand against his significant other but Sasuke made the situation worse by diving into the crook of Naruto's neck, latching his mouth on sensitive skin, sucking and biting and— _Oh god, not in front of these people!_

With more force than intended, Naruto pushed Sasuke off and for the brief moment, he heard the others begging Sasuke to stop. Neji even asked, "You okay, Naruto?" but that went past Naruto unheard because all he could decipher was the rush of red hot anger ringing in his ears. 

When Sasuke moved with clear intention to re-attach his mouth in any spot of Naruto's bare skin, Naruto lost all ephemeral self-control and threw a clenched fist right across Sasuke's jaw. The impact sent Sasuke to the floor. 

It was seconds after when the noise that had been whirring in his head cleared and Naruto could hear his friends pleading for him to stop, asking Sasuke if he was all right and someone was weeping quietly behind him.

"He seems to have passed out," Ino said and it was only then that Naruto noticed she was crouched beside Sasuke.

"Let's bring him to his room, Neji." Chouji was the one to speak up this time. 

A glass filled with water appeared before him and when he lifted his eyes, he saw Hinata studying him warily. Just a sip was enough to ease the burning tension that had been coursing through his veins. 

"Don't get me wrong, Naruto," Neji started when he sauntered out of their room. "But is Sasuke taking any drugs?"

"No. Not that I know of." As far as Naruto knew, Sasuke was completely off his medication. He took some maintenance pill, but Sasuke claimed it was only to make sure his blood count remained close to normal at least. "Why do you ask?"

"I'm no expert with the effect of drugs myself. But Sasuke appears to be somewhat disoriented," Neji explained, creases forming between his eyebrows as if he was in deep thought. "So either he's inebriated and is such a lightweight that he could get drunk with barely a glass of champagne, or he's under the influence."

Naruto was at a loss, not knowing exactly how to react. The same thought gushed through his mind but before he had a chance to agree with Neji, Hinata's voice pulled him out of his musing. "I think it's best if we leave. Will… will you be all right by yourself, Naruto?"

"Yeah. I can handle it from here." Naruto felt utterly disappointed that this simple occasion didn't go well as planned. "Thanks guys. And I'm sorry about dinner."

As soon his guests cleared out, Naruto made a beeline to the bathroom, digging inside the cabinets, uncertain what he should be searching for until his fingers brushed against something cold and hard. 

It was a small medical kit filled with vials of what appeared to be morphine and disposable syringes. Some vials were empty and some of the syringes had been torn out of their packaging. Naruto didn't know what to make of it but he furiously stomped inside their bedroom and hurled the box against Sasuke's sleeping form.

Sasuke awoke with a start, eyes unfocused for a while then regarded Naruto with perplexity. 

"Do you mind explaining where and how the fuck did you get those and why do you even have them, Sasuke?" Naruto could feel the rage attempting to crawl back into his chest.

There was a pregnant silence that hovered above them before Sasuke's eyes fell on the vials and syringes scattered on the mattress. "These… are painkillers."

"I can read, Sasuke. That's not what I asked." It was quite a challenge to summon patience but Naruto knew it was what he needed at the moment, knew that he should give Sasuke the benefit of the doubt.

"Fine, I… I paid someone in Konoha to get it for me." Sasuke wouldn't meet Naruto's eyes. "I needed it. I need it because…."

"You've been in pain." Naruto didn't have to be a genius to know what Sasuke was trying to say. "You mean you lied to me about you getting better? About you not needing to go through any of your treatment sessions anymore?"

"I had my reasons!" Sasuke exclaimed and Naruto had to take a step back, afraid that Sasuke might lash out to him. "I had my reasons."

Naruto was torn between gathering Sasuke in his arms, telling him that everything would work out fine, and keeping his distance because… just because.

 

*

 

It was painful to watch Sasuke surrender himself to slumber with a defeated look marring his usually serene facade. It was even more painful knowing what he had to do – the last thing Sasuke would probably want but the one option that Naruto believed was the right choice.

The warm wind nipped at every inch of his exposed skin. Naruto stood at the edge of the back porch and stared out into the distance before finally finding the courage to dial Itachi's number. He just hoped the other man wouldn't ignore his call since Naruto had to change his number at Sasuke's insistence. 

It was Sasuke's idea, claiming it was best that they used phone numbers only the two of them would know. "For the sake of enjoying an uninterrupted vacation," he had said. And Naruto _fucking_ believed him.

Itachi answered at the third ring.

"It's me, Itachi. It's Naruto," he said, voice cracking when a sob attempted to escape through his throat.

"Naruto! Where the fuck is Sasuke?" Itachi rarely cursed and hearing the swear words shoot out of his mouth frightened Naruto to no end.

"We're… we're in Uzushio." Then Naruto told Itachi everything, about Sasuke's carefully constructed lies and how stupid he was to believe him. "I'm sorry, Itachi. I—I should've know better."

"Yes, Naruto. You should've known better." It was no longer Itachi's voice. It was deeper, more authoritative, and menacing.

"Fu—Fugaku-san?" The picturesque image of a perfect vacation shattered right before Naruto's eyes. 

"Do you have any idea what you've done, Naruto? I trusted you! How could you do something so reckless?" There wasn't any need for Fugaku to emphasize how disappointed he was since his thoughts and emotions echoed in his words.

"Sasuke… he told me he was on remission," was all Naruto could utter. It was his only defense.

"He's not, Naruto." Fugaku's voice had gone softer. "Sasuke needed to continue with his chemotherapy. And you took him away from his only chance to live longer."

There was no way he could hold back the tears now, no way he could quell the guilt swelling in his chest or the pain of knowing that his lack of better judgment might have potentially endangered Sasuke's life. And now… now there was a greater possibility that he may lose Sasuke – sooner than expected. 

 

*+*

 

Sasuke woke up gasping for air. He shook his head trying to dispel the images of him being buried alive. It was the same nightmare over and over again, and this time Naruto was no longer there to help. He was all alone. 

_Alone! Naruto!_ Sasuke's hands felt clammy and his heartbeat sped up as memories of the previous night flooded his mind. Naruto found out about the morphine. He knew that Sasuke lied to him. He had probably called Itachi and his father by now.

 _Please, don't leave me. Be here, be here._ Sasuke half-pleaded and half-prayed to any deity willing to listen to him as he forced his weak body to get out of bed. He frantically ran and searched for Naruto inside the house, calling for him, feeling his dread grow bigger with each empty room he passed by.

He grabbed his mobile phone and pressed the speed dial for Naruto's mobile. _Pick up, pick up, pick up… fuck!_

Sasuke ran a hand through his hair in frustration when Naruto's phone kept ringing and going straight to voicemail. Because Naruto was not answering. He was about to throw his useless mobile when he heard it. That stupid candy ad theme song that Naruto insisted on making his ringtone blaring from somewhere. 

Sasuke followed the sound and found himself at their back porch. It was early morning and the air was downright freezing. And Naruto was just there… looking over the ocean in the same clothes that he wore to last night's dinner – the dinner Sasuke had no doubt ruined when acted like a complete douche bag because he was under medication and in a lot of pain. 

"Did you stay out here all night?" Sasuke asked, unsure whether Naruto would answer his question or ignore him.

"You lied to me." Naruto said, his voice hoarse, as if he had been crying all night. Which he probably did.

"I'm sorry." Was all Sasuke could say. He knew it wasn't enough but he wasn't sure what to say otherwise.

"Sorry? That's all you can say? That's rich. How about telling me why you fucking lied to me?" Naruto shouted, turning around to face Sasuke. "You said you were in remission. You don’t need treatments, then I fucking find out you'd been dousing yourself with painkillers because you fucking lied! Did you even stop to think how I would feel if you—if you--- damn it Sasuke!"

"I know I was being selfish but—"

"Damn right you are, you bastard!"

Sasuke involuntarily took a step back and winced when his back collided with the wall. He was still weak from the pain and it wouldn’t take much for Naruto to bring him down. He knew Naruto wouldn't hit him, but Naruto was upset and Sasuke actually didn't care if Naruto raised a fist at him. If that was the only way for Sasuke to take away the anguish that Naruto felt, then he'd let Naruto hit him to his heart's content.

"Why do you keep hurting me, Sasuke?" Naruto asked as his body slumped on the floor. "You said you love me but you're not willing to fight. Am I not worth fighting for your life?"

"Oh no, no, no! Don't even-- You are, you are, you are worth it. Always, always." Sasuke said as he rushed to Naruto's side and pulled him into his arms. Sasuke was grateful when Naruto returned his embrace and buried his head in the space between his neck and right shoulder.

"I didn't want to lie. I wasn't responding to the treatment anymore. Tsunade wanted me to try a new method, but it's experimental and there's no guarantee of success. I want to live, for you, for myself, for my family. But I'm tired, Naruto, I'm so damn tired. I thought if my fate's already set, why not spend my remaining time with the person I love the most. I know it was selfish. But I don't want to die with regrets. I love you, I'm sorry if I hurt you. I don't deserve you. Damn it, I know I don't deserve you. You should find someone…" Sasuke drew in a breath, unable to continue because it hurt too much to tell Naruto to move on and find someone who could make him happy. Someone who wasn't Sasuke.

"Weren't you listening to me? Damn it, Sasuke!" Naruto looked at Sasuke eye to eye. It broke Sasuke's heart to see distress in those blue eyes he loved so much.

"I love you. I don't care if you're dying because I won't give up on you. Share your pain with me if you're tired. I'm here, Sasuke, I'm here. I won't go anywhere. We'll fight this together, you hear me? Together. I won't let you go through it alone. I promise." Naruto swore before he leaned forward to kiss Sasuke.

Sasuke closed his eyes as he let himself drown in the different emotions that Naruto wanted to convey. The kiss was a whirlwind of emotions. Hot, determined and desperate all at the same time. Sasuke kissed back with equal passion, because he wanted Naruto to know that he believed him. And that he would fight, because Naruto was worth all the pain, always, always worth it.

 

*

 

Sasuke wasn't ready to face his brother and father. He didn't want to go back to his reality. He wanted to stay here in Uzushio and live the dream. He wanted, no, he needed the peace that this place brought to his weary psyche. He didn't want to return to Konoha, he didn't want to return to reality, he wanted to stay within the dream and never wake up.

He wasn't looking forward to long hospital visits, painful chemotherapy sessions, unreliable experimental treatments and false hopes. He wanted the dream to last a little longer.

_Was it too much to ask?_

"Sasuke." Naruto called out from the front door and Sasuke felt his heart go numb. _The beginning of the end._

Sasuke took his time joining Naruto, because he wasn't and would never ever be ready to give these all up.

Sasuke inhaled deeply and stood beside Naruto who immediately reached out for his hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. There was no use running, it was time to face the music – and for Sasuke to wake up from the dream.

 

*

 

Sasuke knew that his father would be arriving with Itachi. Naruto told him about it. Itachi reminded him as well. So it should not have surprised Sasuke to see his father in their living room. Somehow at the back of Sasuke's mind he was still expecting his father not to show up. Because his rebellious, stubborn mind wanted to prove that his father didn't give a damn about his welfare.

He wanted an excuse to keep on hating his father. But it seemed like even that small reprieve would be taken away from him.

"Naruto, Itachi. I want to talk to Sasuke alone." Fugaku said in a voice that brooked no argument.

Sasuke tightened his grip on Naruto's hand – a futile attempt to show that he was not afraid to defy his father.

"You need to talk to him. I'll be right outside, alright? It's okay to let go." Naruto whispered, gently coaxing Sasuke to let go of his hand. Naruto smiled when Sasuke finally released his hand. "I'm not going anywhere." Naruto said and gave him a light, lingering kiss on the lips before joining Itachi outside.

Silence reigned between the Sasuke and his father. It was uncomfortable and Sasuke felt suffocated. He didn't want to be the first one to yield, but he couldn't take the silence anymore. "I dreamed about Mom last night."

Fugaku looked at Sasuke and Sasuke wasn't the slightest bit surprised to see that his father's face remained expressionless. Fugaku Uchiha was infamous for his poker face after all. Sasuke never saw his father cry, not even when his mother died. Maybe his father really was as heartless as he led himself to believe.

Sasuke closed his eyes and leaned further back into his seat. "She was wearing the kimono Itachi and I gave her on her last birthday. She was on a field surrounded by those lavender flowers she loved so much. I called out to her and she waved at me, but when I started to run towards her she kept floating away."

Sasuke stopped when he felt someone sat on the empty space beside him. He opened his eyes and turned to look at his father. "Do you think Mom will be waiting for me on the other side?"

"No." Fugaku whispered and turned so that they were looking eye to eye. "There's no need for her to wait for you because you will live a very long and healthy life. We will find a cure. I promise."

"Don't make promises you can't keep, Dad." Sasuke said, averting his gaze and breaking eye contact with his father. "Do you miss her?"

"Every day."

"Me too." Sasuke seconded. "I didn't see you cry when Mom died. I was just wondering… Will you cry if I die?" He knew that it was a cruel thing to ask, but Sasuke really wanted to know his father's answer would be.

Sasuke was startled when instead of immediately answering, his father gathered him in his arms. "You are my son, Sasuke. I was the first person who held you aside from the medical staff when you were born. I watched you grow up to become the fine young man you are now. I know we had our differences but never doubt that I love you. I didn't show you how sad I was when your Mom died because I needed to be strong for you and your brother. You and Itachi, you two are my greatest treasures; everything I worked hard to build will be useless if I lost either one of you. So yes Sasuke, I will, it will break my heart so please fight. If not for me, for Itachi, for Naruto. I would give up my life if that meant that you'll be safe. I may not always show it, but I love you, never forget that."

Sasuke could not help the tears that ran down his face at his father's words. Sasuke wrapped his arms around his father and buried his head in his neck. "Daddy, I'm scared. I don't want to die."

"I know, Sasuke, I know. It's okay, everything will be alright. I promise." Fugaku assured Sasuke and for the first time in his life, Sasuke actually believed him.

 

*

 

Naruto and Itachi drove Sasuke and Fugaku to the airport. Sasuke would have wanted to drive back to Konoha but due to the fact that Sasuke had spent four months without treatment, Fugaku wanted to fly Sasuke back to Konoha at the soonest time possible.

Itachi promised Sasuke that he would keep Naruto company on the ride back. Sasuke didn't want to think of the reason why Naruto wanted to still stay in Uzushio. Sasuke reminded himself that he needed to trust Naruto and that he owed it to his boyfriend whatever amount of time Naruto needed to sort things out.

So Sasuke didn't complain, nor did he ask Naruto when he will see him back in Konoha. He simply held on to Naruto as tightly as he could, while he still could, hoping that whatever decision Naruto would come up with – somehow - _hopefully, please Kami_ , it would still include him.  
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 _And we can escape_  
 _And watch the world chasing to find us_  
 _Both of us hidden from view_  
 _If you fade into me_  
 _Fade into me_  
 _Fade into me_  
 _\-- Fade Into Me, David Cook_  
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	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> clover71's notes:
> 
> \- This is the part where, yeah, the 'fairy tale' syndrome falls. I took the liberty of re-writing radcliffe_bass' part (Sasuke's POV) since she wrote it in a rush and there were some elements that kind of conflicted with the story flow, which was my fault because I'm not the type to follow the plot outline religiously, so I thought re-writing Sasuke's POV was my responsibility  
> .  
> 
> 
> * * *

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The time spent in Uzushio seemed more like a castle in the air – a dream that floated like a cloud above his head. In a blink of an eye, it was over. The castle had been torn down and left in ruins. Clouds dispersed along the darkness that now loomed over him.

It took three days – three measly days – before Naruto could gather enough mental strength to drive back to Konoha. Itachi had to leave ahead and later sent Sai, Sakura and Shikamaru to fetch him. 

"Troublesome," was the first thing Shikamaru had said when he found Naruto sitting on top of a rock cliff overlooking the ocean. Then he sunk right beside Naruto and offered no other words, just kept Naruto in silent company until Sakura came to tell them that it was time to head home.

Shikamaru was the one who drove his Forester all the way back, wouldn't let Naruto touch the wheel. Sai and Sakura tailed them in Sakura's old pink Chevy – apparently, to Sai's chagrin. 

The curtains soon fell over summer to give way to autumn, leaving four months worth of blissful memories in Naruto's trail. 

Fugaku didn't waste time to push Sasuke back to therapy, insisting that it was for Sasuke's own good. It was hard to tell whether it was because the man's resoluteness was legendary that he managed to get Sasuke back in the hospital, or if it was because Sasuke didn't seem to have the energy left to put up a fight. 

Naruto never left Sasuke's side. Through the agonizing hour, he held Sasuke's hand while watching the turbid chemicals surge through the tubes and into Sasuke's body. And every time Sasuke's grip would loosen, Naruto's heart clenched in fear that Sasuke might slip away. 

It was disheartening to witness the light in Sasuke's eyes dim after that first treatment, as if the small flame of hope that burned inside him started to ebb away. 

On the third session, the nightmare that would forever haunt Naruto happened. Not ten minutes since the chemotherapy started, Sasuke's body began to convulse, mildly at first then progressed into violent seizures in mere seconds. The machine around Sasuke screamed, ceaseless beeps filling Naruto's ears, every pulse added the weight of dread that anchored Naruto to his spot near Sasuke's bed. Doctors and nurses flooded the room, swarming around Sasuke. 

Everything happening around him warped into a blur of movements, all sounds reduced to a low hum and all Naruto could focus on was Sasuke's face turning ghostly pale. He felt pressure on his arm. Someone was leading him out of the room, away from Sasuke. But he couldn't move. Couldn't move.

The chaos eventually evanesced into a considerably tranquil scene and it was then that Naruto did snap out of his trance. Sasuke had been stabilized by then. Itachi slid an arm over his shoulders and whispered, "He's going to be alright, Naruto. He's going to be alright." 

Was he? Was Sasuke truly going to be alright?

Nearly a week after Sasuke walked along the thin line between life and death, they were back at Sasuke's place. Naruto was cleaning up in the kitchen when he heard Sasuke call out, "Naruto?" in a weak and raspy voice that made Naruto's blood run cold. 

In a split second, he was in Sasuke's room, climbing on Sasuke's bed. He brushed strands of hair off of Sasuke's forehead and asked "Sasuke? What's wrong?" 

"Nothing just…." Sasuke reached up to brush a finger along Naruto's cheek, as if he was tracing the whisker-like birthmark that Naruto had all his life. "Promise me, Naruto," he said, his voice rang with despair that it made Naruto dread to hear what he had to say next. "Promise me, when I'm gone, that you'll move on and live your life."

 _No, no, no. Don't give up,_ Naruto wanted to say, but the words remained a cyclone in his head. Instead, he lay by Sasuke's side and clung to him, afraid to let go, refused to let go. Sasuke just had to win this battle. He had to. 

Naruto's eyes burned with unshed tears. He did his best not to weep, not to show weakness. He had to stay strong. For Sasuke. For them.

 

*

 

Winter was a trying season. Despite the lack of snow, which they never had in Konoha, it was still pretty chilly. But with the bitter cold came a phenomenal blessing. 

Itachi was home when the phone call came and Naruto watched with repressed anxiousness while the older Uchiha stood in the middle of Sasuke's living room, completely absorbed in a conversation with Tsunade, if Naruto heard it right. His expression remained neutral, but Naruto caught the slight lift on the corners of Itachi's mouth when he said, "Thank you. I shall tell my father at once."

The silence that followed was fraught with suspense then a smile slid into Itachi's lips. "They found a donor," he said, his dignified demeanor shit flew out the window when he threw his arms around Naruto like some kid who won a year-round supply of candies or something. "They found a bone marrow donor for Sasuke."

The news was enough to leave Naruto elated for days. Fugaku came home in a whim, giving him enough time to prepare for Sasuke's stem cell transplant. Naruto was aware that it wasn't a guarantee to full recovery. In fact, there were risks involved that Naruto rather not think about. Besides, Sasuke's oncologists did claim that the surgery was a viable alternative – whatever that meant – so it couldn't be that bad, right? 

It was Sasuke who suggested that they dined out in the garden on the eve of New Year – a picnic, something they often did when they were younger. They were sprawled on blankets, bundled in their warmest clothes, waiting for the fireworks to start, when Sasuke asked, "Remember what mom told us about the stars when we were little?" 

Naruto raised his arm and aimed a finger at the heavens, tracing the hard-to-distinguish constellations. "She said that our loved ones who aren't with us anymore sit among the stars, watching over us. I think that was when I asked her about my mom."

Sasuke hummed in response, his cold fingers tangling with Naruto's. "When I'm gone," he started, giving Naruto's hand a gentle squeeze, "I'll be up there among the stars, watching over you." 

There were countless reactions that bubbled up inside Naruto but none of them were woven into proper words, so Naruto just squeezed Sasuke's hand back – a silent message that Naruto was holding on to that promise, even if the thought of losing Sasuke was slowly killing him inside.

Wordless minutes spun around them. The quiet ambiance was broken only by the gusty noise that broke out when a string of red and green and blue and yellow scattered across the dark mantle of the sky. 

With the New Year came new hope. At least, that was what Naruto chose to believe. Sasuke was slated for surgery the day after and Naruto found himself stumbling into the shrine nearest to the hospital to offer a prayer or two.

 

*

 

The surgery was a success, but not enough for Sasuke to be in remission. Little miracles continued to rain on them though and it was during spring – almost a year after they left for Uzushio – that Dr. Dan Kato came into their lives. 

Dan-sensei was, in a word, an eclectic specialist who didn't rely solely on modern medicine. He was highly recommended across three nations and was a close friend of Tsunade. He took over Sasuke's case without question, and started him with his own alternative methods – most of it leaning to Naturopathic Therapy.

"Are you sure this is wise?" Fugaku asked Tsunade, his skepticism resonating in the small waiting room of the oncology-hematology clinic where Naruto had to endure Fugaku's pleasant company while they waited for Sasuke. 

"Have a little faith, Fugaku-san," Tsunade said, patting Fugaku on his shoulder. "He's one of the best oncologists. Sasuke is in good hands."

It turned out that Tsunade was right on the money. Dan's methods may have taken time to show results, but when it did, Naruto felt utterly euphoric. Sasuke had remarkably improved in the course of one year. It was mid-spring a year after Sasuke started under Dan's care that Sasuke was placed under observation for three days. 

With Sasuke in the hospital, Naruto felt restless. He wasn't allowed to stay beyond visiting hours. Not even Fugaku could pay someone to bend the rules. Minato, on the other hand, refused to use his influences (being a former Town Mayor still had its advantages) but he wasn't short on showing support. To avoid driving himself to insanity, Naruto decided to find something he could do to keep himself preoccupied and doing mind-numbing chores seemed the most feasible option.

He was doing the laundry when Fugaku came to see him. "I got a call from Dan-sensei's assistant," Fugaku said, seemingly uncertain where he should stand. He didn't move from the doorway, just shoved his hands in his pant pockets and met Naruto's gaze without the usual harshness in place. "They asked me to go to the hospital, said Dr. Kato wanted to have a word. I… I want you to come with me."

A single nod was all Naruto could offer before dumping the dirty clothes back in the hamper and rushing to his room. "Let me go change. Won't be long," he called over his shoulder. 

Itachi was already waiting in Dan-sensei's office when they arrived. Naruto took the chair next to Itachi, asked, "What's going on?" in the most subtle way he could. 

"Not sure. I hope it's good news though," was Itachi's hopeful response. 

"It's nothing to lose sleep on, I assure you," Dan said as he strode inside his office with a confident gait, a green folder in one hand. "Thank you all for coming at such short notice. I'm sure you'll agree that this isn't something that could wait." Dark green eyes surveyed them and finally rested on Fugaku. "This is supposed to be between family members only, though I perfectly understand if you want Naruto to stay."

"I want him to stay," sprang from Fugaku's mouth without so much of an afterthought. "He's considered family."

A feeling Naruto had no name for bubbled up inside his chest upon hearing Fugaku's declaration.

"Very well." Dan folded his hands on his table, fingers woven together. "I just got all the results of the tests we've conducted on Sasuke, not just for the past three days, but for the past quarter," was how Dan started his account on Sasuke's health. The rest of his words were distorted jargons that Naruto couldn't even begin to comprehend. When Dan drew in a long deep breath, Naruto's focus reverted back to the pale blue-haired doctor. "With the latest tests showing that Sasuke is clean from any strain of virus, it is safe for me to declare that he's in remission."

The meaning of the phrase didn't immediately register in his befuddled mind. Naruto blinked in confusion and wondered why he was suddenly engulfed in Fugaku's embrace. "He did it. His fight is over," were whispered against his ear. 

Still shell-shocked, Naruto took a small step back. _He did it. His fight is over,_ reverberated in his head and his eyes grew wide upon realization. 

Sasuke had finally won the battle. 

 

*+*

 

Sasuke took his shoes off and padded his way to the kitchen with the takeouts. It had been four months since Sasuke went into remission and decided to take a break from the doctors' endless observations. They were currently in Uzushio, in the same transient house that they rented some lifetime ago, it seemed.

Naruto had started working for Konoha Times under the Lifestyle section as a columnist a year ago. Then he evolved into article writing for the Travel and Leisure last May. That was one reason they were here in Uzushio. 

Naruto's current project was doing research on ideal vacation spots and Uzushio was the first that came to Naruto's mind when he took the project. Traveling was one of the many perks of Naruto's job, which they could do without any hassle since both of them work remotely and didn't have to be caged in a jail cell commonly known as 'office'.

"I'm back!" Sasuke heard Naruto announce.

"Welcome back. Dinner's almost ready." Sasuke gave Naruto a quick peck on the lips then returned to his task of setting up the table. 

"Okay. I'll go change first. Need help with anything?" Naruto asked.

"Nah. I got it covered." Sasuke poured the contents of the takeout boxes into a serving plate, hoping that Naruto would like what he bought for dinner even with the absence or ramen. Absently, he patted his pant pocket, wondering what his lover's reaction would be at the surprise he had planned for later.

 

*

 

They were having after-dinner tea in their back porch with Sasuke constantly checking the box in his pocket. He had purchased the ring three months ago and though they lived in the same house, Sasuke never found the right time and place to ask for Naruto's hand in marriage.

He knew Naruto wasn't expecting any grand gesture, but Sasuke wanted the proposal to be unique and memorable, something that would definitely be the highlight among the many milestones in their lives. So far, all the ideas that his friends and brother gave were either absurd, boring or over the top.

"Oi, Sasuke." Naruto's voice nudged him out of his rumination. "Do you remember that cliff over there?" Naruto asked with that silly smirk in place.

"How could I not? That's where where you had me shout out—" And that was it. The unique proposal he was looking for. Sasuke carefully placed his cup on the windowsill and turned to Naruto, unable to fight the grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. "Race you to the cliff," Sasuke said and without waiting for Naruto's reaction, took off in a run. Sasuke reached the spot first with Naruto only seconds behind him.

"That's not fair!" Naruto whined, panting a little as he plopped down on the ground. "You had a good head start there."

"I'm just a better runner than you are," was Sasuke's cheeky reply. He dropped down next to Naruto. "Do you remember what you made me do here?"

"I will never forget that day, Teme. You gave the neighbors an eyeful of the goods. It was hilarious!" Naruto said with a chuckle.

"And do you remember what I said?"

"It was kind of long. How do you expect me to memorize that? And you were yelling that time," Naruto reminded him.

"I still remember it." Sasuke shifted to face Naruto, taking both of Naruto's hands in his. "It goes something like, I, Sasuke Uchiha, am irrevocably, insanely and madly in love with Naruto Uzumaki. And there is nothing in this world that I would not do for him. And I hope that he loves me enough to officially make me his sole partner in life."

Sasuke released Naruto's right hand so he could fish out the box from his pocket.

"That's, that's not how it — Oh Kami, are you?" Naruto's eyes were wide as saucers when Sasuke lifted the lid to reveal a pair of matching white gold bands. 

"Naruto Uzumaki, are you crazy enough to irrevocably, insanely and madly love me and maybe spend the rest of your life with me while you're at it?" Sasuke asked never letting go of the hand that was still trapped in his own.

"You have to ask properly and be less of a bastard, you know." Naruto had one dark blond eyebrow arched while he regarded Sasuke with that look that drove Sasuke out of his wits.

"Fine then. Naruto, will you—" Sasuke's supposedly romantic proposal was roughly interrupted by Naruto's lips on his and he felt the longstanding promise to love and cherish, in sickness and in health and everything that came with the traditional marriage vows all pouring out of that kiss. They remained quiet after they parted, with only the sound of the ocean rushing to meet the shore to fill in the silence. Then Sasuke took a deep breath and asked, "I take it that's a yes?"

Naruto's blue eyes shone brighter than the stars that dusted the night sky. "When had I ever said no?"

 

*

 

Sasuke thought it weird that he wasn't mind-bogglingly nervous. Most of the movies he had seen while growing up always had the groom or the bride going through pre-wedding jitters. But not him. _I wonder if Naruto's feeling the same way._

"You ready?" Itachi asked as he meandered into the room with that cool-calm-collected aura he often wore around him. 

"I am always ready." Sasuke trailed after his brother to where he would meet Naruto. Since they were both grooms, they decided to break tradition and walk down the aisle together to symbolize what they were: partners, equals.

"Here we are," Itachi said, pushing the door open as if he was leading Sasuke to another plane of reality.

A wave of emotions swirled inside Sasuke's chest the moment his eyes fell on Naruto. His lifetime-partner-to-be was beyond stunning in the double-breasted black suit that they picked out, making Sasuke look deplorably plain in the matching outfit.

"Hey." The blinding smile that curved on Naruto's lips was enough to lift Sasuke's spirits, prompting Sasuke to take his place on Naruto's side. Naruto's hand slipped into his and with a squeeze, Naruto asked, "You ready?"

"Always," was Sasuke's perfunctory response and he punctuated it with a chaste kiss on Naruto's cheek right before the doors to the garden opened. 

Sasuke and Naruto shared a smile that spoke volumes of how eager they were to take their first step to a new chapter of their life as a couple.

 

*

The ceremony was short and meaningful but the reception that followed right after was long and crazy.

Most of their friends from high school were in attendance. Shikamaru, Kiba, Sai and Shino even performed a song and dance number, led by Kiba, of course, which had everyone cracking up. It was a riot watching the three usually reserved men trying to catch up with Kiba's otherworldly antics.

Some of Naruto's friends from university were present as well and Sasuke had the pleasure — insert sarcasm here — of meeting Gaara and Sora and a rather eccentric Rock Lee, who Sasuke vowed to never stand close to again. Since Sasuke was home schooled after he had to quit university on his second year, he only had his private tutors to invite.

Friends from Uzushio — Ino, Chouji, Tenten, Neji and Hinata — drove all the way to Konoha to grace the occasion. In contrast to the train wreck of a performance of the now infamous Konoha four, Ino and Hinata's duet was pure perfection.

Sasuke was certain that those two were able to pique the interest of a lot of eligible bachelors in the room. And if Sasuke's observations were accurate, Sasuke wouldn't be surprised if Shikamaru and Kiba became frequent visitors at Uzushio.

The smile that seemed to have been surgically implanted on Sasuke's face since that morning had not faltered. It was surreal to go through this kind of experience after years of clinging to the belief that he wouldn't live past last year. Naruto was truly a godsend. And maybe it was true. Maybe his husband was really a miracle worker in disguise. 

"You still with me?" Naruto poked Sasuke at his side before plopping down on the seat next to him.

"I love you, you know that right?" Sasuke tilted his head enough for his lips to meet Naruto's. "Thank you for not giving up on me."

Naruto fingers found its way to Sasuke's dark locks. "And thank you for giving us a chance."

 

*

 

It was between summer and fall, a year after he and Naruto had tied the knot, when another blessing came their way. 

Sasuke ran through the parking lot of Konoha General Hospital, skillfully dodging people and vehicles as he tried to reach the building as fast as he could. Why oh why of all days did his child decide that today would be a great day to greet everyone?

He was in the middle of a golf game with a client when Naruto called him to say that Keiko, the surrogate they chose was on labor. Sasuke wasn't sure how he managed to get home, shower, slip into a fresh set of clothes that quick and grab the baby bag they had prepared for this.

Sasuke was thankful that Naruto met him at the ground floor and that his blond lover could be easily spotted among the crowd. Excited would probably be less of an adjective to describe how Sasuke felt. He was eager to meet his child. With Naruto being the father, he was certain that the baby would be an adorable bundle of joy, just like Naruto was.

"Sasuke! Where have you been? You're late! I've been waiting here for—"

"Mmm…" Sasuke moaned into the kiss. Kissing Naruto never failed to shut him up. Besides, he'd been out of Konoha for a week, he missed his husband and he was entitled to a welcome home kiss.

"Well, Daddy," Naruto said as they pulled apart. Sasuke's heart fluttered at the thought of being called 'daddy'. That was right, he was a father now. "Ready to meet your daughter?"

"I was born ready."  
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 **THE END**  
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End file.
